fbpx
Menu

A Long Road!!

Home→Forums→Relationships→A Long Road!!

New Reply
Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • June 12, 2014 at 1:26 am #58697
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Josh,

    I can tell by your write up that you are upset all the time. It’s good to seek help.

    I’m sorry to hear about you mom. My mom also died of cancer.

    Your thoughts and feelings – I relate a lot of what you described to a relationship that I had. It prompted me to see a a psychologist. I had to take care of myself and he definitely helped me. I had tried a couple counselors before.

    Have you tried this or would you be open to this? They could help you with your temper and why you’re in this type of relationship.

    You might also try couples counseling. When we tried that, the counselor identified fundamental issues with her that prevented successful counseling.

    It’s an opportunity to learn about yourself Josh. One of the most profound statements that I have read here I think was written by Matt. It was how a difficult relationship or difficult person actually serves as a teacher for you. I can’t think of anything more impactful than that. What I’ve come to find is that everyone does the best they can each day. Sometimes they have an illness, or another challenge that makes their day more of a struggle. This is integral to our lives, we all have it to some degree from time to time. A key learning opportunity is to understand how compassion helps with the relationship we have with ourselves and the relationships that we have with others.

    Think about these points and let me know if this makes sense and resonates with you. I hope this helps.

    Big blue

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by Big blue.
    • This reply was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by Big blue.
    June 12, 2014 at 3:30 pm #58732
    Mike
    Participant

    No relationship is ever perfect, so I’m not going to say that it is. Obviously you both feel that your relationship is worth it, otherwise you guys would have walked away from it a while ago. My mom died of lung cancer in 2009 and me and my gf have been back and forth for almost 9 years. We are now in a tough situation and we realized that we should have dealt with the problems back when they started rather than sweeping them under the rug. As Big blue said about couples therapy it can really help to get unbiased professional help. Problems don’t go away, unless they are dealt with appropriately and really I think in some circumstances not only couples therapy is necessary, but also both people need to work out their own problems separately with a therapist. You are still dealing with the death of your mother, that is a heavy burden and a therapist can help you with that and it sounds like she is dealing with a lot. If you aren’t a fan of that I know a lot of churches and other religious centers offer some type of grief counseling and couples counseling, these are beneficial as well.

    June 12, 2014 at 4:50 pm #58734
    Josh
    Participant

    Thanks I really appreciate you’re kind words, we actually did end it for several months and tried to pick it back up in April. I have thought about seeing a therapist, I think it could be beneficial.

    Lately though I have considered ending it because things don’t feel the same as they use too! I know they don’t always stay the same but the constent stress and fighting. My passion isn’t there like it use to be.

  • Author
    Posts
Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.