fbpx
Menu

25 and Confused

Home→Forums→Relationships→25 and Confused

New Reply
Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • July 24, 2017 at 9:04 am #159910
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear IsandGirl17:

    Are you willing to consider not spending time partying in the company of other men (“We have great times out together and really know how to party”)?

    I am not suggesting that you should. Instead, I am inquiring about your willingness- or lack of- to accommodate your boyfriend in this regard.

    anita

    July 24, 2017 at 9:11 am #159912
    IslandGirl17
    Participant

    Hi Anita -thanks for your response. I have definitely considered it, and even stopped hanging around them for sometime. It was only yesterday that we all were around each other again to celebrate a mutual friend’s birthday.

     

    My point is, it’s with any guy I associate myself with. Whether it’s work colleague, a friend, a friends-friend: he’s jealous! I don’t want to lie about who I’m around when I’m out, but I do it to avoid arguments.

    July 24, 2017 at 9:17 am #159916
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear IslandGirl17:

    Lying to him is definitely not a good solution. Since you are willing to accommodate him, at least partially, have a serious conversation with him: let him know that you are willing to accommodate him, at least partly. Then negotiate and come to agreed-upon accommodations: for example, you can decide in such negotiation, that before you commit to spending time with other guys, call him and let him know of the circumstance, get his feel about it and decide then, in conversation with him (or a few), following his input.

    The two of you can come to some understandings, solutions that will work for you and for him. Get his input and talk back and forth. He will feel more powerful (not powerless and helpless as he does now, which causes him anxiety and excessive concern about you spending time with guys, and he is likely to relax) and you will be able to be truthful, to yourself and to him.

    anita

    July 24, 2017 at 10:35 am #159926
    sage
    Participant

    This is completely personal but I think relationships do require sacrifices. Extreme jealousy is definitely not healthy, but maybe find a neutral space with your boyfriend. Say, “I’ll trade the partying with them for the occasional coffee hang outs and I’ll dedicate a weekly date night to you to make you feel special.” Something that will help find common ground that doesn’t require you not having fun and him being sick with jealousy.

    Just an opinion from experience. Best of luck!!

    Sage

  • Author
    Posts
Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.