24 and never dated

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This topic has 7 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 6 months ago by Maria_L.

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April 23, 2016 at 6:11 am #102518

Claudia
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Hello!
I am just writing because I am look for some advice on how not to be upset over this. I just turned 24 and have never dated or had a boyfriend. It seems as though every other woman I know has much better luck than I do in this department and it is really starting to get to me. I do sometimes get male attention, but often it is from men who are taken or by some dude I meet and it never evolves into anything past a couple texts. I am starting to lose hope that there is anyone out there for me. I also feel like I now will have no idea how to even be in a relationship or date because I have never gotten any practice. I have met a man recently who is 10 years older than me and just wants to have sex, and although I do not feel right about it, I’m going to go for it so that I can fianlly lose my virginity. I am just upset and feel like there is something wrong with me. I am so tired of being upset over this.

April 23, 2016 at 8:23 am #102528

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Claudia:

Losing your virginity is a symbolic act of no merit. Nothing good can come of it. Please don’t do it, at least not for now.

Your lack of relationships with men is part of your overall relationship status, this is why I ask: how are your relationships with others? Friends (do you have friends? Are they all women?) What are your relationships with your parents like? Other family members? Are you close to anyone and what is the nature of that closeness?

anita

April 23, 2016 at 1:53 pm #102550

HippieChick
Participant

I agree with Anita. As frustrating as it is, don’t just lose your virginity just to get it over with. It’s a bit of a big deal and one day you’ll date someone that YOU will want to have sex with. It will mean much more to you if you wait. And, trust me, any guy worth a darn will be pleased as punch that you waited for the right opportunity rather than just doing it with whoever.

April 23, 2016 at 1:55 pm #102551
AnneeW
Participant
Hello Claudia,

I just want you know that it’s absolutely worth waiting for the right man. I can understand that you too want what everyones “seems” to have but this is just an ilusion. I have been there as young girl too, when everyone had a bf and no one was interested in me. I know it can get to us and make you feel down. But the truth is mostly that there is wisdom behind what happens to us. Remember you and your body are very special, honour and respect it as such and don’t give it away cheaply. Wait, be patient and you will find a good husband/partner sooner or later 🙂 Maybe you need to be more active in social ways like hobbies, sport, art or wahtever it is you enjoy doing. Trust me, when you meet your man, you will be gratful that you waited for him. All the best

Ann
- This reply was modified 8 years, 7 months ago by AnneeW.
April 23, 2016 at 9:10 pm #102575

sandstorm
Participant

claudia,
its not a big deal to loose virginity . its natural . i don’t understand why people think its big deal u cannot stop such thing . but let me tell you sex is over rated else well. make sure that you shouldn’t end up in bad consequences like this old man get attached with you . or you get emotional attached with him . and yes protection is must it goes without saying . u have no idea how many people hide so many things and just pretend to act as super good person . frankly speaking its your life u make ur choice . honestly speaking sex has nothing to do with relationship . u should decide what you u want first ? casual sex or relationship .

April 24, 2016 at 12:37 am #102577

Arjun Mehta
Participant

I actually registered to answer here, Being a 26 year Old guy who was often stalked and liked by many girls. I too haven’t yet dated anybody yet. I have a whole lot of raging testosterone but it is essential to have a control over it. Virginity is not a kinda of a bad habit or thing that you should loose it as soon as you can. Stop thinking loosing virginity as some kind of a status symbol.

Wait for the right person and you will feel it at that moment that all those years you controlled and waited were all for a better cause. You are free to have sex with the guy you mentioned above but remember it is your first time and if the opposite mating partner isnt careful it could scar you for life. You will always remember this as an horrific experience through out your life.

There is more to life than just having boyfriend and having sex. Explore other possibilities and follow your passion, Which will at anytime will lead to the path where you will meet like minded people and develop bonds and thus relationships. Its hard but I feel thatss the right path.

May 6, 2016 at 2:26 am #103723

Jolene
Participant

I hope I’m not too late in my response, but it is not “weird” or “a failure” to have never been in a relationship at 24. Perhaps you just haven’t met the right person who shares the same vibe as you.

you said that it seems like every other woman you know is or has been in a relationship. But you don’t know the back stories of how they got there, whether the relationship is worth being in, or even if they are happy.

life is not defined by having a boyfriend or sex. it’s by how happy you are with yourself. If you feel that having a sexual relationship with this current guy will make you happy, then go ahead with it. But if you are only doing it to satisfy what you think is required in society, you might need to reconsider.

Finally, you can be more assertive and talk to guys whom you are interested in, instead of letting the conversation die off after a few texts. We are all so wound up in the dating “game” that we sometimes lose out on real meaningful relationships because we wanna seem popular / cool. I’ve found myself in great relationships with people only because I pursued it, otherwise it would’ve died off after a couple of texts.

Good luck in finding love!

May 12, 2016 at 4:07 am #104322

Maria_L
Participant

Hello!!!

First, it is really not weird to be 24 and never been dating… Don’t rush into things just because of social pressure. And don’t get frustrated, I know few people with your issue, they found their other half eventually and are really happy.

But other thing ‘grabbed’ my attention… I have a lot of friends. Three of them are around their 30’s, wonderful looking girls with even better personalities,guys get interested in them, and yet, they never had meaningful relationship behind. Because I know them well, I know the issue with them is fear of taking risk and shyness. So that’s why I wanted to ask, are you shy by nature? If not you might just ignore the rest of the text 🙂

As you, they really want to meet someone nice, but whenever I try to introduce them to guys that i know are also wonderful,(I just ask them to have a coffee and a chat, that’s it!), they always end up with excuse ‘he is not for me, I don’t feel connection, chemistry, etc’. The person I am in happy relationship for 8 years.. well at the beginning we didn’t have fireworks too, we just started as good friends.

I hope i don’t sound ‘pushy’..lol. I still think you should take your time and not rush with these stuff. But if sometimes you feel a ‘good vibe’ with someone, just go and have coffee, few chats, get to know the person better before you get into anything..It might feel ‘scary’ sometimes to break the ice, but don’t hide behind excuses and fear if someone grabs your attention. And don’t just settle for the guys who run after you, I understand how it feels at that age to have 6-7 guys that like you, but no one feels interesting enough. Give yourself some time, go out, have fun, meet people, get to know people, if it’s worth, take a risk. Go on a date, or at least a coffee…What can go wrong, bad coffee? 🙂 We’ve all been there 🙂 Stay positive and strong 🙂
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