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20 years old , fighting negativity, there's too much going on. advice?

HomeForumsEmotional Mastery20 years old , fighting negativity, there's too much going on. advice?

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  • #74345
    Marshmallow
    Participant

    I’m in my early twenties too and had a similar experience while growing up. My family was emotionally dysfunctional, my mom always victimized herself over every little thing and my dad blamed every little problem on me or her. They fought everyday, my dad always blaming me and my mom always begging me to take her side, it was suffocating and exhausting. I moved out when I was 18 and it was the best thing that I could have done for myself.

    A little distance and growing up never hurts anyone. Hold down a stable job, pay for your own place and work towards your goals. Its always scary thinking you have to leave the comfort of your bedroom, its all you ever know but its the best thing for you.

    Start by getting yourself a stable job, even if its not something you enjoy like a Cashier job, its a step towards independence. There is no reason why you can’t work a job, save up money and than pay for own schooling and housing. Your parents will respect you because you no longer live under their roof and you will be an independent adult. You will have control in your life, you can choose to save up money, go to school for Makeup or work toward your goals. You also do a lot of growing up when you move out because decisions become your own and you will need to deal with the consequences.

    While I think its great you have a dream, be it Youtube, Make-Up, etc but you also need to be realistic. Being famous on Youtube is not easy and you will need a back up plan. Start of by being able to support yourself than reach for your dreams, to reach for the stars you have to be standing first.

    You will be starting one of the most important and exciting decades of your life, your 20s is when you will lay the foundation for your life as an adult. Don’t waste it by being in a room watching Youtube Videos and hoping everything just kinda of works out. Your parents will not change nor will you magically have a car and a job you desire. Get up and go after the things you want. Time flies by very quickly.

    #74455
    Al
    Participant

    Crys,

    Our lives are ours to live, no one else’s. Not your family’s, not your friends’, or otherwise. In the end, we must write our own stories, no? And, as you’ve implied, you want a beautiful one, yes? But how to get there? Where do we start? How can we achieve what others have?

    My dear, ALL first steps are always scary. Is a master instantly a master or does he/she take years to hone their skills? Does a master know exactly his/her pursuit? Do masters never make mistakes? And, were not all masters once novices? While you’ve had a rough childhood and adolescence, please know that there are many who feel and think the same way you do regardless of their upbringing. The feelings of inadequacy, loss, fear, uncertainty, among others, are all normal at the age where countless doors with each their own set of difficulties are presented to us. In a sense, there should be no fear as this is what we’ve been trained for our entire lives, no? And yet, we can’t help but find the first few steps to be so overwhelming.

    Crys, please know firstly that there is no rush to our destination. Beautiful scenery will continue to exist whether or not we rush, therefore, find comfort in traveling at a pace where you can absorb all the beauty. Also, do not worry if you feel you are moving slow. The important thing is that you’re rolling forward, no matter the speed. Please keep this in mind. You will hit bumps, as you are exactly supposed to, and hills and mountains but each conquest to their summits will yield a most magnificent view. And, so long as you examine your situations and learn from them you will find that you will always be moving in the right direction. Sure it may also be difficult to pick a path, however, if you learn to adopt new perspectives you may instead find that such limitless options are a luxury.

    I hope this helps.

    Al

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