I agree for some people I can imagine it can be quite addictive.

I think that’s how I’m going to look at the friendship, I know not all friendships are forever and things may change, and I feel a bit more rational about it all now. I also see it as a good time to do some work on myself away from any romantic relationships.

Hi

I spoke with my ex-boyfriend last night and told him I just wanted to ask him a few questions and just needed him to be honest with me and I wouldn’t be upset with him

Unfortunately every question I ask he twisted a little bit and I didn’t really get any kind of answers.

He did finally admit that he had had online profiles for years and had not deleted them when we started dating, he was adamant he never used them whilst we were together but would not answer me when I asked him if he was on them now

He dated a lot previous to meeting me and after his divorce, probably about 20 women in 2 years for either few weeks or a few months, he was always honest with me about this during our relationship and we talked about it many times concluding he was just trying to fill a void and feel something for someone and that he wasn’t really enjoying himself with any of them.

When he met me things were different and I honestly believe he was very much in love with me at the beginning, I think as the newness wore off he was still left with being unhappy with himself and being depressed.

And I think he’s just reverted back to his old patterns to try and fill this void again since we’ve split. From reading various articles it would appear he’s able to move on so quickly as in his head he disconnected from me a long time ago where as I am dealing with it freshly.

I don’t think he’s a bad person I don’t think he would intentionally hurt me and I know he’s really struggling with depression so I think that’s why I make allowances

I don’t think I’m ever going to get the true honesty over what happened as I think he’s afraid of hurting me or me becoming upset with him.

I do really value a friendship with him and feel the other issues are for me to work on alone as to why I stayed with him so long when he was barely showing me any interest and not fulfilling his side of the relationship.

I know staying friends may cause more pain if and when he meets someone but I think I’m willing to take that risk whilst also moving on with my own life separately, I’ve suggested to him that we should perhaps have some guidelines about how our friendship should look so that neither of us gets hurt or confused and I hope this will make things more straightforward

Or am being crazy thinking that could work?