Only if you are able and willing to be nice person who thinks of others 100% of the time. It takes time (countless reincarnations) to be a truly perfect nice person and by that time you would have already attained Buddhahood. If you’re keen in aiding suffering beings and gaining wisdom, you may proceed with Mahayana or Bodhisattva path to Buddhahood. Anyway, don’t be too hard to yourself for this matter, always be sincere and true to yourself and others.

This is soooooooooooo me! Smiley but unhappy and lack of true friends.

Well, I am great to hear that you are into Buddhism. I am actually not a real Buddhisht but I have studied and learned about Buddhism. It is something that I would love to embrace at my retirement age (btw I’m still 21 years old). I was fortunate enough to be born as a Chinese in Malaysia, so I have no problem accessing the Buddhism materials from China which is currently the central of the Buddhism as most of the translated suttras or mantras are available at there.

Now you have to understand that the journey of attaining the Enlightenment is a process and is progressive. It may take up to thousands, millions or billions of reincarnations to achieve Enlightenment eventually. As for now, if you really want to embrace Buddhism, you may need to understand the basic concepts or principles from Buddhism about the Truths of the Universe. There are two classes of Truth, one is natural Truth, another one is supernatural Truth. That’s how we have Hinayana and Mahayana for both Truths respectively. I would suggest that you should have deep understanding on theories of Hinayana before you proceed to Mahanyana. It is because Hinayana consists of theories and Truths that can be universally understood and accepted by every living being in this universe including Science. As for Mahayana, I would not elaborate it here to avoid disputes and misunderstandings as it is a supernatural Truth that cannot be explained or understood by using words due to its formlessness (non-physical or intangible existence). This may sound mysterious to you, but it not mysterious and unfamiliar at all actually. It is because there has been a Buddha that stays inside everyone of us to be the Awakened One. It is just a matter of time (countless reincarnations) and I would suggest you to read Lotus Suttra for this.

As for the intoxication case, I have no idea what you mean actually. However, you don’t have to quit alcohol abruptly as we need some time to gradually turn into perfect sobriety like a monk. Of course, it is the best if you can quit it completely as early or soon as possible. There are other intoxicants, not really intoxicants, but foods that you should also avoid such as onions and garlics. It is because foods such as onions and garlics or any other foods that have such similarities, will induce sexual arousal if eating them raw and anger or annoyance if eating them cooked. That’s the Buddhism theory, this might not be true for us, but those are the foods that must be avoided if you are a true Buddhism practitioner or monk. I hope my answer would help. Thank You.

That’s why I quit Facebook, except for Messenger where I still need to chat with others. I am also lonely and afraid of meant to be lonely for life. I am trying my best bit by bit to live a better life now.

I have quoted and replied to your message but I have idea where has it gone. I will restate here that you are doing good. Just give her some time to concede to the truth as she might have quite deeply attached to you. Sometimes people need some time to let go off things that don’t belong to them but to which they have deeply attached, it is a process. It has happened to many people, including myself. Don’t worry, you may move on.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by yongsua.

Don’t “shoot” me if I said anything wrong, this is just my inductive comment. I have heard that one of the reasons why men live shorter or women live longer than men is because men are too rational and suppress their emotions a lot. Besides, it is also because they have exerted too much physical effort than women during their lifetime, leading them to shorter life.

IMHO, I would suggest that you need to take some time and listen to your own heart. I guess you are in dilemma now, but don’t rush to decide whether to move on without her or maintain your soulmate relationship (romance + friendship) with her, you will regret later if you take the wrong move.

May I know that you are not into her because you honestly don’t feel any romantic interest on her as she does or because you feel guilty to break someone’s marriage? If it is because you honestly don’t feel any romantic interest on her then you should assert that you are not romantically into her. You should now try your best to stop further progressing your soulmate relationship with her, but not to end it with her. In other words, you can maintain your current soulmate relationship with her, meanwhile you should try to persuade her that both of you can’t further progress to bf/gf relationship. Of course, this needs some time as she may feel upset or depressed in this stage. It is also your responsibility to comfort her in this stage.

However, if you are not into her because you feel guilty of breaking someone’s marriage, then you are lying or concealing not only to yourself, but also to her, to her family especially her husband and children, as well as God. You and her will eventually commit a true sin because both of you have been stealthily flirting with each other without the knowledge of her family members. If you really mean yourself from a conservative background, you should do something now. Either to take full responsibility to propose your love to her and get her out of current unhappy marriage, or END your current soulmate relationship with her now before it is too late. Things can really go badly such as committing suicide (as you mentioned that she is an emotional person and has history of abuse) or when her family find out that you have some affair going on with her. I might sound harsh on this, but I just want to let you know that you should take the correct move to handle this matter.

Thanks and Regards.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by yongsua.