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Yonatan

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  • #292345
    Yonatan
    Participant

    Thanks everyone. But I don’t understand how after all the abuse, (especially at the end), I’m still so infatuated with her. If I could see her faults than it would be easier to move on. But instead all I see are my inadequacies. If I was just more confident, we could have been together.

     

    #292335
    Yonatan
    Participant

    Wow this was very insightful anita. You are very discerning, and experienced when it comes to these matters. I’ve been reflecting on the causes of this failed relationship as well.

    But let me quickly explain Maya’s personality.

    Maya in a nutshell is egocentric and indecisive. Let me explain.

    She loved the attention I gave her. She was willing to stay on the phone with me for hours. I always had to initiate an end to our calls. She also got worried when I didn’t call her, and she always wanted to see me in Florida. She would always tell me how much she loved me and missed me even when I didn’t say “I loved you” first.

    However, she never complimented me very much at all. I always complimented her looks, and her smarts. When I gave her compliments, she would laugh and say “I know”.

    Whatever I gave her, usually was never enough. She didn’t like the 1k diamond ring I got her. She didn’t like the setting of the wedding. She didn’t like how her aunt could not see her at the engagement party. And she didn’t like the apartment we got just because the laundry machines were in the hallway. She didn’t like the gold bracelet I got her, so I let her exchange it for another one. She told me HERSELF 2 or 3 times that she was a very indecisive person, and I let it slide because I thought it would complement my decisive behaviors.

    With that said, in our relationship, Maya simply no longer had any feelings for me. And I think her parents just followed suit in order to protect their daughter.

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 7 months ago by Yonatan.
    #292319
    Yonatan
    Participant

    This comment here is so comforting. Thanks so much.

    The pain is so multifaceted.

    1.) I idealized her

    2.) SHE dumped ME

    3.) I feel terrible about myself for being a “doormat”

    4.) I felt abused

    5.) I invested so much time, money, and emotion into this

    6.) It was my first intimate relationship

    7.) I uprooted my life and career to be with her

    8.) I will not be with her ever again

    9.) We were going to get married in a few weeks

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 7 months ago by Yonatan.
    • This reply was modified 5 years, 7 months ago by Yonatan.
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