Hey man. The only thing that comes to mind with help in your situation is your not alone. I am currently quieting my job and moving back in with my father. I have similar thoughts that this is a childish move and others thoughts that I should be on my own by now and creating my own security. Those other suicidal thoughts you are having are similar as well. What keeps me afloat though is the other thought that death is inevitable. It will happen anyways so why speed it up. You live a life that you are creating and writing right now. Now you got yourself in this mess and you can get yourself out. With the proper ventilation you will work your guilt and worries out. By sharing your story and challenging situations you will get other people’s answers to very similar problems. If you are not happy with some of the answers you are getting from your immediate friends and family, then talk to somebody new. Keep doing this until you come across and answer that brings you the most comfort. Remember we are all fighting battles. You don’t have to fight alone. Find and join a similar battle and fight together.
Sorry if there is some misspelling and incomplete sentences. I’m replying from my phone and it won’t let me view my reply easily so I hope you get the idea.
Peace and Love Brother!