Hey Jane , yes thanks to everyone for responding. Sorry it took so long for me to write back but yes I have the same issue as you I have always been a very calm peaceful person. It takes a lot to get me anger but I realized in my relationship with him Ive become an angry person. Most of the time I feel like im talking to a wall. Completely unheard. hes so into himself and cares only about himself that he wont every empathize with someone else. The other day I actually came to him and told him how I was bothered that he never said anything to me about my concern with a family problem. And instead of just hearing me he actually got upset at me for bringing it up and was saying how im so dramatic and need to just get over things. IN turn it makes me always feel so guilty because I dont like to upset other people but I dont see why me coming and saying hey last night i was so worried about my family etc and him just sitting there being completely quiet then falling asleep bothered me. If its not something that affects him personally he could care less. It worries me becuase I am very empathetic but hes not and he even admits to it and says well Im just not like that. I feel stuck and not sure what to do. And its funny because everytime he has had a problem I have always been there to talk to him and give him advice and say words that are positive. But I dont think he even appreciates that . He cares more about what he looks like in the mirror than his partner hurting. I truly feel lonely in my relationship.

Of course Jane we can only help each other. And that’s so sad he doesn’t compliment you at all. I mean your confidence should always be within you but of course your partner should uplift you and make you feel beautiful as well. It goes both ways.
And We have had some intense fights in the past usually drunk ones . But end up communicating and talking it out.
But I think you should talk to him about the compliments and see what he says. Being open is the best thing you can do. Especially if it makes you feel bad. That’s what I did with my bt I told him when he get cocky it makes me feel bad makes me feel inferior and I shouldn’t feel that way with anyone especially my partner. Was your almost break up about the compliment thing or something else?

Also thank you Wood95 I realized I do need to chill out I have a tendency to expect the worst when things are going well. Something to let go of that I am working on. Sometimes its nice to hear from an outsider to knock you back into reality.

Thank you for the response Matt, yes stress is usually what triggers these emotions in me and just makes me unbalanced in a sense. Especially being in medical school together him and I are both under enormous pressure all the time that even little things just add up and at some point causes one of us to explode. Most of my times of feeling unbalanced are related to my lack of self love. Im not sure where it came from seeing that I had a very loving family and good childhood so I have never had the lack of love from anyone but myself. I think if I can focus on myself and loving myself then I can better handle certain situations. I seem to have this habit of just getting very angry and hurt when there are other attractive women around. It isn’t all the time but I do compare myself a lot and see everyone else as perfection. And in those instances I lash out at him (I used to do this with other boyfriends as well so its not just him) and then again there is the guilt for reacting in that manner when he hasn’t done anything wrong like flirt or anything with them. I just assume the worst thinking that he would rather have that girl because in my eyes she so attractive and perfect and I don’t have the most beautiful skin, or biggest breasts , so on. Im very picky with myself which again like I said I am my own worst critic. I will look into reading those books I do tend to love books like that. Im glad that I joined this forum I already feel a new more positive mindset from all your responses. Maybe if any of you have ever dealt with any insecurities like that any advice on how you work on it daily I would glady welcome . I actually decided yesterday to do a 30 day challenge of not speaking down on anyone…like not seeing a girl and judging her or pointing out something negative in order to make myself feel better (defense mechanism I see it as). Oh and namaste Matt 🙂