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Yarina

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Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
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  • December 2, 2019 at 2:03 pm #325703
    Yarina
    Participant

    Anita,

    No I ‘ve never attended therapy but I want to have it in the future.

    I know what I did was wrong and I acted stupid. We met today, he apologised even though it was my fault.. and he was acting amazing – caring, attentive, we did not talk about what happened before. He walked me home and we kissed. I don’t know if it will work out but I am happy I decided to give it a try. I see he is different, much more open when it comes to affection. We are both closed off and maybe we just needed some time to open up 🙂

    November 30, 2019 at 1:25 pm #325367
    Yarina
    Participant

    I think I take his behaviour as rejection, yes. However, I think I am more anxious than angry. I felt guilty after our talk.

    I guess I felt angry  at my father but also dissapointed. We always had difficult relationship, he’s dealing with depression and many other issues.

    November 30, 2019 at 11:43 am #325359
    Yarina
    Participant

    I know he’s introvertic and I am too. I had difficult childhood, my father is adult child of alcoholic and emotionally unavailable and creating bond is difficult for me too. I think I am still more open and willing to invest my emotions than him but I don’t know if he’s always been like that – distant at the beginning or he is like that becasue of his experiences.

    November 30, 2019 at 12:29 am #325291
    Yarina
    Participant

    Anita,

    I think you are right. I texted him yesterday in very straightforward manner. He told me he didn’t know if I want to keep seeing him and that it was the reason I texted him after this week. We decided we will give it some more time, have few more dates and see how it will go. I think what we can do now is to try to be open and straightforward as possible. If it won’t work, it won’t but at least we will give it a shot.

    November 29, 2019 at 10:37 am #325139
    Yarina
    Participant

    It is, I just would like to hear a compliment, get a flower, see that he is excited about me, a little bit of flirting, light touch, warm eye contact, him trying to really get to know me, closing dating profile, telling me he likes me but wants to take it slow. ANYTHING. I think he simply didn’t care.

    November 29, 2019 at 10:21 am #325131
    Yarina
    Participant

    I wasn’t sure if I can handle that. I was thinking about it during this week, reading about people who had these kind of experiences.. and I decided I want to apologise and explain my point of view. I didn’t say I was dissapointed by his coldness, I was dissapointed he gives me mixed signals and he is so distant emotionally and physically.

    November 29, 2019 at 9:52 am #325125
    Yarina
    Participant

    I think that “not taking the lead” was not my biggest concern. I just felt he is not engaged emotionally, he was not personal, his text were not spontaneous. Even shy or reserved guy would act excited, his body language would be less buddy-like, he would not keep searching for dates online, etc. I don’t understand why he got so emotional on our last meeting and told me he cares and then one week later act totally cold again.

    February 25, 2019 at 1:18 pm #281787
    Yarina
    Participant

    I do like him but his behavour seemed odd for me as well. He did not ask me where I am each time but checking my location when I was travelling and address of my work felt like he was inviding my privacy.

    He does not know where I live and about other things I lied as well (just to be safe) and I am planning to change job soon so I am hoping nothing bad will happen.

    February 24, 2019 at 11:32 am #281567
    Yarina
    Participant

    Hello Anita,

    He was acting very much into me from the beginning and I felt some of my bondaries were crossed. Also I don’t like that he wants to take a lead in our relationship as I feel pressure from his side. I am afraid that these are signs that he will be possessive and controlling further in the relationship. I don’t know if I should discuss my point of view with him or it’s he way he is and I should let him go. I know his father is controlling.

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