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yadizmarie

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Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • August 1, 2014 at 12:09 pm in reply to: Why is it so hard to let go when we know it's the right thing to do? #62415
    yadizmarie
    Participant

    Hi B, I agree that you must first learn to be happy by yourself before you can share yourself with anyone else. You admit that you hate being on your own. YOu are successful, and independent but you have a desire to fulfill a void by being with and sharing with someone else. Love yourself first. It seems you havent even given yourself a chance. Also try reading The SEcret. It seems like you keep attracting the same type of men because that is what you are throwing out there. Law of attraction works both ways. If you say “I keep attracting the same type of guy” that is exaclty what you are going to continue to get. I still think that before any other relationship comes your way, you need to be able to get that inner strength that you need to be able to walk out when there are red flags. The ones we see for our friends but refuse to see ourselves because of our need to fix men. Girl, I am guilty of it too. Right now, I told my boyfriend that we needed space and that I didnt want to see him for a month, he was very distant too and depressed, so i gave him space, now he is trying to turn things around because he sees what is important, us. Let me tell you, from my experience, if you are very available to them and comforting and nice they will walk all over you but be the meanest person ever and they come crawling, lol, just saying. As women we need to remain strong before anyone that comes our way not only for our own good. Good luck, i hope you really try meditating so that you can begin to see how great of a person you really are, all by yourself.

    August 1, 2014 at 11:42 am in reply to: Having a hard time finding my calling #62411
    yadizmarie
    Participant

    Hey Kelsi, I would try to think back to what made you pick the major in the first place and be completely honest with yourself. Was it because it is a field that is high in demand and you will surely get a job and make good income? is it because you want to help people and if so, how? I see you included that you promote overall health but you also said you can’t picture yourself doing any of those. My opinion is that at 21 you are more ahead of the game than anyone else. You already know for sure that the health field is not the one for you, you made the move and not many people have the guts to do that. Don’t let fear and anxiety get the best of you for you will find your path. Fear and anxiety are just mental blocks your ego puts in front of you to make you believe that you are doing the incorrect thing. Continue on your path and dont let fear get in the way. I think you are doing the best thing for you. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders. It is your life and no one is going to live it for you. You are totally blessed, good for you and believe in yourself like you have been. You go girl.

    August 1, 2014 at 11:30 am in reply to: Depression and Anxiety: #62409
    yadizmarie
    Participant

    I agree with Alpal, I think you are great just the way you are and everybody else is crazy. (LOL) The problem is that your ego is getting the best of you and you have stopped listening to that inner voice which is the true you. There is nothing wrong with you but your ego is telling you otherwise and you are starting to believe it. Try meditating and silencing your mind for a bit. From what I am reading, this will become difficult at first but I guarantee that it will help. Also it seems like you just feel like you dont fit in, and guess what? you’re just an older and wiser soul in a young body that is all. Keep following your passion such as writing, poetry and other artistic gifts that this universe has given you. The moment you accept yourself for who you are, the world around you will begin to change and love you the way you are. You are a precious gift that the world needs so take it and live it girl. You are special. Therapy does not work with you because there is nothing wrong with you. Believe it.

    July 28, 2014 at 7:28 pm in reply to: What to do? #62018
    yadizmarie
    Participant

    I truly appreciate your honesty. You are definitely good at this. I don’t know how or why I have not had the strength in me to let go. i have allowed all of this to happen due to fear of letting him go and missing him and feeling like I made a mistake. There are so many things that he has said that just lets me know that his internal problems are far deeper than us. I have realized that the problems he is harnessing have nothing to do with me. I really wanted to be there and help him but i dont think I can. he is far more depressed than i expected. He has lost himself and doesnt love himself. My biggest question is How can someone love without loving themselves? I don’t think that is possible. These depression bouts that he goes through are dragging me down and while i try not take it personal, it is very hard to live a life not knowing what kind of mood he is going to be in. I have moved out these past few months and I really thought that it would be a wake up call for him to get help. I thought it was going to work out but then again I feel all alone in a relationship. So I gave him the talk of taking a time out and not seeing each other for 1 month and having a date at the end of the 1 month break to see what happens. I dont know if that was the right thing to do.

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 3 months ago by yadizmarie.
    July 25, 2014 at 9:25 am in reply to: How do I learn to trust again? #61743
    yadizmarie
    Participant

    Don’t be so hard on yourself. Accept yourself for who you are. He made his own choices and decided not to tell you anything because he knows what your reaction would be. Which basically means he has gotten to know you very well and unfortunately these things happen when a couple is very close to each other. It seems like he is very young and you know men mature at a much less rate than we women do and that is why he chose not to tell you, he didnt want to hear it.When someone we love lies to us, we feel very hurt and disappointed because we TRUSTED them. We all deal with forgiveness in very different ways. What I have learned about forgiveness is that it truly makes you a much happier person but it has to come from within. When you forgive you have to be prepared to completely forgive and not throw something in the other person’s face later on. You have to learn to trust yourself and let go of that doubt that the person will do it again. You can also forgive and see how you react to your relationship once the healing process begins between the two of you. You can at least say to yourself that you tried if it doesnt work for you. It seems like he is very young and he may have his own problems to deal with. Truly loving each other means talking it out.

    July 25, 2014 at 8:59 am in reply to: What to do? #61740
    yadizmarie
    Participant

    I agree with Matt. I also get a sense that she truly cares for you. Enough to let you have the time that you need to put yourself first above all. It seems like she needs you to take care of yourself and be happy with yourself so that you in turn can give her what she needs from you. Take it easy and breathe.

    I just joined today because I have a similar problem. I just dont know how or if to let him go. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 2 and half years. I discovered at about our 8 month mark that he was suffering from depression. He completely disappeared and cut off everyone for about a month. I was able to find him and bring him home and help him as much as i could. He moved in with me thinking that being together would help him mentally. It was up and down for a while until I decided 3 months ago to relocate to a different city. About 45 mins away. He decided he did not want to join me. I moved out and we have been trying to keep this relationship going but he is going into depression mode again and I feel guilty about being tired of dealing with it. WE both have children from previous marriages. I have my daughter full time with every other weekend with her dad and he has an arrangement to see his son whenver he wants. One of our major problems has been the lack of time he puts into our adult life versus our parenting life. I want to be able to go out and have fun with him when I’m childless and he always makes plans to spend time with his son. I feel guilty about asking him to at least balance it out like I do but he doesnt seem to understand that concept.He feels that since his dad abandoned him and his mom when he was younger, he can’t do the same to his son. I feel him but still feel guilty about wanting to spend some adult time together. I am childless only 4 days out of the month. I recently began practicing meditation and concentrating on my own well being. I feel like I am coming alive again but every time i talk to him on the phone i feel like im being dragged down to a cave. I feel guilty about not wanting to be there for him. I have tried to have him join me in meditation but an excuse always comes up that he can’t. I know what i should do and dont know how to do it.

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