Dear xaprilthecat,
Do not go into mental health, your intuition is telling you not to, listen to it. You are not suited for the profession, but don’t take it hard, very very few therapists that I have ever seen have the gift it takes to help others with their emotional pain. If you doubt you have that emotional fortitude, then you don’t have it yet. Maybe someday, but not now. You are 20, explore your interests. I think you haven’t found a passion yet, but it’s out there. Good hunting!

Yeah, gotta go with Stefan’s answer. Says it all, and thank god he didn’t sugar coat it! Need more like him!

Dear Nikita,
You need to leave. Let them know that you will always be there for them if they choose to get help, but that you cannot and will not do it for them. If you stay, you will become them. Take care of yourself. Put your oxygen mask on before helping others. You are enabling them to continue hurting themselves. Stop it. You may loose them, but it will not be your fault. If you stay, you will lose them, and it will be your fault. They need to hit bottom before you can help them stand up again. And it’s not tough love, it’s real love. Tough love is just manipulation. Good luck!

Kaitlin,
Who you are and who you will become have nothing to do with criticism either from others or yourself. It is because you make good choices. That won’t change if you stop abusing yourself with these thoughts. About 3 years ago, I started to question everything. I saw a picture of what boys in high schools are doing to each other in order to fit in. It showed the cuts and welts that completely covered the backs of two boys. They looked like beaten slaves from civil war movies. I asked, “if this how we treat each other now in order to be considered worthy, is that right?” I then began a year long process of questioning every time I felt judgement from others and myself and asked wether it was valid (provable or opinion) given with compassion (in love and with my best interest) and wether if what was being judged was in anyway related to who I really am (or was it just superficial garbage). I hope this helps, because in my case almost no judgement of who I am met any of these requirements. It will probably be the same for you. You are also a perfectionist so let me fix that now. Your good had always been and always will be better than most peoples best. So go easy, you will still shine!

Dear OV,
I’m distraught that you called the relationship abusive because this guy was pulling away while slowly losing someone he loved. Through this entire post, you said nothing about his feelings, only yours in relation to his behavior. This means that the relationship that you may eventually have with this man will be completely dependent on how you “feel” and not about the two of you. This means that at this time you are unable to give to a relationship in the amount that is necessary in choosing to love. Take some time, work with the therapist. Right now you are too selfish for a relationship, but when you are truly strong that will fade and live will boom in your life. Good luck!

Dear Steve,
Bad Steve, bad bad bad. You should be better. You should be focusing on good stuff, you should be participating in life, you should be positive. Now I’ve reprimanded you like you are doing to yourself. Do you feel better. Do you need some type if punishment for feeling bad? Read that last sentence again, my friend. You should feel bad, you are in a bad situation in a very uneasy part of your life. You have a right to feel a bit screwed and jealous. I do. My life sucks right now. But it was only when I acknowledged that I had a right to feel the way I do that I found the power within myself to start moving forward again. It’s slow going. Hard to get out of bed most days, and I feel alone surrounded by people I feel have it better than I do. But I own those feelings. They are mine now and no one can judge them, not even me. And when the time comes that your spirit is ready to get on with it, it will. Until then, just keep saying “I’m a happy person” over and over in the mirror. No it won’t make you happy, but it may make you eventually laugh at it’s absurdity!

Dear Pamela,
I’m so happy to hear that you have commuted to taking the meds! But, they are not working yet, or possibly they are not the best ones. It takes a bit of trial and error to get to the right ones, so be patient and learn as much as you can about your depression and the meds.
Next, your life is gone. In fact, it probably seems like there isn’t one now, or one that’s worth living. Those are normal at this time. But, you are taking the best steps that anyone can do in the situation (to add to this, few people make it to where you are, so I’m positive you will get through this simply because you made it this far) you are taking the meds, seeking counseling, and reaching out. One thing you may want to add is to listen to your intuition. It will sound like a whisper, and is usually rather faint but always feels true. It will take practice to learn to hear it, but it won’t fail you. Last, remember the illness is a part of you, it is not you. It is not your identity, it’s only a challenge (albeit a big one) that you are tackling head on. Fall down seven times…stand up eight!