Dear cosmoslullabye,

First, I want to applaud you by taking that huge step towards healing, that is, through therapy. It shows that you do indeed care about yourself and the people around you. You’ve already got half of the problem figured out: that you need help. And there is nothing wrong in getting help. Honestly, I think if everyone had the money and resources, everyone should get therapy so that they can continue to actively improve themselves. What a more beautiful world that would be if everyone was constantly working on themselves, in hope for a better change not only for themselves, but for the world!

My other advice to you is to focus on one issue at a time, preferably with a therapist who is an expert in the area. One issue, one day at a time. Slowly, you will see that with hope and faith, you can make this world a more beautiful place. I’m so proud you took the step towards healing yourself. 🙂

Unfortunately, the truth is you cannot change the people around you. People, just like you and me, are selfish, lazy, judgmental, you name it. One way or another, they will disappoint you. That’s where you have to make a choice of whether you love them enough to work it out with them or have the wisdom to let them go. If you leave your self-worth in the hands of others, you will be deeply hurt.

I believe the true journey to happiness comes from self-love. Loving yourself includes being physically healthy, having a community that shares a common interest, and perhaps picking up a hobby that makes you happy. These are only a few ways to become that “happy, content, fulfilled person” you dream of. You, my friend, are very worthy of love, no matter what your past is. Every person has a story; a story you learn and grow from.

I’m sorry to hear that you were involved with the wrong people and hurt so much. Trusting people again will be extremely difficult, trust me, I know. Take one day at a time, and try to love yourself first. It might help to go out and spend time with people you know that love you, like a family member perhaps. When you are ready to open your heart to others, do it slowly, but do it kindly.

I hope this quote can be of some comfort to you:

“…Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

My dad never feels remorse for abusing his family. Instead, he’s very eloquent and somehow finds a way to justify his actions. For example, it’s for the sake of the family. I think if I ever heard a sincere apology from him for his abuse, I would forgive him because that’s all I want as his child.