John

From my experience the best you can do right now is to focus on yourself. It is hard to accept but you have zero power to change your wife and how she is feeling. All you can do is to take care of yourself and get yourself in a better place.

The funny thing is that once you change, the world around you changes as well and who knows? Once your wife see you back to your element, feeling whole again, she might feel like she can trust the relationship again and get her guard down BUT that might not happen in which case feeling whole again will help you to move on.

Regardless, take a day at time and be patient to yourself. You didn’t arrive at this point over night and things will not get adjusted overnight either. Also, find help. You don’t need to go through this alone.

Hope that helps.

L.