It’s not about you loving him. It’s about you loving yourself. You are in a relationship that doesn’t show evidence of any characteristics of self love. He doesn’t love his self either. I never met a man who beat his significant other and liked himself. What shows on the outside was first manifested on the inside. He is fighting with himself on the inside so he will fight with others on the outside. It’s easier to fight with someone than to fight againt our own self. If you loved yourself you wouldnt be with someone who abuses you physically or verbally. That doesnt set a good example for your children who are constantly learning about their own self esteem and how they deserve to be treated by others by watching you. This isnt love. Love doesn’t come from self hate. Walk away and began a path of self love. Do things that honor your essence as a woman and mother. Keep pressing 🙂

Hi Julie,

I have a question for you that I want you to answer everyday you wake up and get out of bed. That question is : What would happen if I felt I was enough? How would I feel about myself? How would my relationships improve? What kind of people would I attract if I FELT I WAS ENOUGH?

Realize that you were not born lacking anything. You were born well equipped to handle anything life has and will throw at you. I sense your eating disorder stems from low self esteem and wanting to be accepted. You crave acceptance from everyone around you but yourself. Acceptance starts with you. You set the standard for how people see you and treat you. If you do not love yourself then no one will. You owe it to yourself to love yourself no matter what anyone says about you or how they treat you. Your self esteem should be unrelenting and unwavering. Always hold yourself in high regard! You are in control. No more lying, no more worrying about how others see you, no more. You are enough, You were made enough. Keep pressing 🙂

Hi Sam,

I understand how you feel as far as seeking validation to enhance your self esteem as well as being rejected. Don’t think rejection means you are not worthy to be loved at all. It just means you are not compatible with the person you are seeking love from. They may not be able to meet your needs and you may not be able to meet theirs. It doesn’t mean you aren’t worthy of love. Everyone is worthy of love, That is a generalized standard. Even the dirt on the ground is cultivated and cared for. I also understand that in your current developmental stage and period in your life you feel inadequate because you aren’t in a relationship and most people in your same period of life maybe are. Everyone grows at different rates. Me being an introvert, I was born being happy by myself but at this point in my life (21) I want to be in a relationship as well. Most of my friends are in their second long term relationship or are engaged or married and I have yet to be in my first .I have also been in relationships where I have felt alone and miserable and better off without the other person. Do not compare yourself to other because when you do that you automatically focus on the things you lack rather than the things you have that others do not. Never tie anything unstable to your self esteem. No matter what you go through, what you have, what somebody says about you, etc your self esteem shall always be high. No one is responsible for your self esteem but you. That means that the only opinion about yourself that matters is yours. Keep pressing 🙂

Hi Eden,

First and foremost I dig your name lol I have also dealt with self righteous manipulating people before. They never want to be wrong because they have too much pride and are on a HUGE ego trip. His ego seems to be way to big for this relationship. It seems as though you never were in a relationship with him but his ego instead. He seems to have no compassion and takes you as a joke which just undermines your self esteem to the utmost. You are just going through withdrawals and would rather have something rather than nothing at the moment. That is why you are constantly hoping he will respond. You relentlessly put your feelings and that matter at hand aside to work towards strengthening your relationship with him. He seems to not want to compromise for his ego and this will continue to be the case if you reconcile.

I’m sorry for how you are feeling at this current time and I understand the pain you are feeling. First off, I would like to ask what attracts you to these type of mates? Sit down and write out the similarities (if any) you see in each mate that has done this to you. You also have to do some self reflection to see what you are missing that you feel these people provide for you. I leave you with this question, How much do you love yourself to keep attracting nothing but hurt? I wish you the best through this process of growth and self reflection. With experience comes wisdom. Keep pressing on. 🙂