Hi Des, I’m stuck with that exact same problem. It’s frustrating. I sense it does have something to do with self-esteem issues and yes, probably something happened in my past but I can’t put my finger on what. What I have been trying now is to just accept the pain without trying to distract myself with a new relationship, a new hobby or anything else. It’s so very hard but I have been learning a lot about myself since I started this process.