Hi there! I totally understand how you feel. I have also always been a depression-like person and I’ve had similar thoughts and reflections about my life a lot of times. I think nobody can give you an advice of what to do to change it. There is no magic trick to make a change. I can just tell you that if you decide to fight with it, you must be prepared that the process of change will last for a long time and you will face a lot of ups and downs… It is not easy, but I can tell you that i feel much better than 3 years ago. I am still fighting with myself, my thoughts, lack of motivation, depression and felling of emptiness in my life, and I am still halfway, but I assure you that it is possible to make a priogress…

Don’t get dissapointed because you cannot feel the effects of therapy. Two months is really not enough, it’s just begging. Your mind needs time for total rearrangement. It’s good that you are here. Give yourself a lot of time to read about calm, peacefull, happy life. Buddism helps me a lot, but I don’t treat it as a religion, it’s more a way of living. Forgive yourself. If your life looks like this right now, than it’s ok, it is such a time, think about it, what you like and what you don’t, what you would like to change and how practically you can change it, then do one thing, one little thing, that will be a first step. You will at least a bit happy about it. Than make another small change, and move step by step. And do not be afraid to try a lot of things and quit, it’s ok, this is how you works and that’s ok. It will be a long and difficult journey, but if you decide to take this path of change, in a few years you will look back and realise that maybe it is still not perfect but it’s different you.

It’s impossible to give you worthy tips in one message, if you wanna talk more, you can contact me on kacja1{at}wp.pl
Wish you srtength!