Hello.
I have been challenged by similar, longstanding issues. A recent revelation has indicated a long history of depression and mild anxiety. More importantly, I have come to see that I was dangerously disconnected from my values, stuck and spinning my wheels about “floating” and being essentially aimless. I’ve spent the last couple of years slowly working my way through the book “The Happiness Trap”, by Russ Harris, and I think it has many helpful strategies for developing a life you want to live. Especially important for me has been defusing anxiety- and depression-inducing thoughts, and articulating my values — and goals that are aligned with them.
Take care, and try not to be too discouraged about the time and work that it will take to improve.