Dear Anita:

Thank you for responding and for your insight.

Yes, when we started dating I was embarrassed to take her to my parents because I felt they wouldn’t approve of me having a relationship with her, and I was right. My mother made some comments to me, that made me feel that she wasn’t enough for me, I asure you that some of my insecurity and anxiety comes from me thinking that people think she’s not enough for me. I don’t know, It just that my parents opinion matter a lot to me, and you feel like your disappointing them in some way. Not a fun feeling to have!

Regards,

Servio

Hello Inki.

Thank you for taking the time to give me advice, my responses are in bold…

I think the anxiety, at its root, has nothing to do with your relationship or who you’re with. Usually if we’re dissatisfied with our partner, we feel irritated or bothered, or racked with guilt that we’re leading them on. But anxious? Not so much. Not unless a break up is pending and it will be messy.

I suspect the anxiety stems from the pressure you’re putting on yourself (“must start family!”) and the fear of making a mistake. Marriage is supposed to equal being together forever, and you theoretically get one shot.

Maybe, the therapist told me that because of the size of the decision (getting married) it’s intense. When I broke up with my former girlfriend, I wasn’t prepared to get into a serious relationship so quickly, I didn’t take it seriously, it evolved like that without me wanting to.

Maybe get off your self-imposed Life Plan. Ground yourself. Take up yoga or meditation. Walk on the earth barefoot. Plant a garden. These things help ease anxiety in general.

I have been thinking about taking up yoga, running helps, but you know what has helped me the most? Reducing Social Media,  it made my mind go crazy because I was comparing my girl with other women and seeing things that she didn’t have.

Kind Regards!!