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Totoro

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  • November 16, 2016 at 9:17 pm #120534
    Totoro
    Participant

    Hi everyone,

    A quick update. So the next day, October 31 2016, (my anniversary date with my ex) I get to work and I got FIRED.
    It was already a terrible day to start with, but that just made it worse. But I guess it was a nice distraction from obsessing over the day as well.

    After some thinking, I took that as a blessing in disguise. The work environment was not very professional anyway, and there was no room for advancement, and also was one of the last “things” that was having me hold on to my ex as he had an influence as to why I got the job there originally.

    So, I lost my job. I then decided to spontaneously get my hair cut. My hair was probably just above my belly button and I cut it to my ears!!! It actually looks alright, better than I expected.

    Okay so, that’s job gone, hair gone. I then went to my ex and told him what happened, I think I subconsciously wanted to see what I would be missing if I saw him one last time. After that, guess what? I successfully cut contact!

    BUT, then he texted me out of the blue an I gave in and now I feel like crap again. I was so close.. WHAT can I do to keep moving forward? I am SO easily persuaded by him and it’s as if I forget how abusive he can be. Part of me was so happy that he texted me first because I was the one who was always chasing..

    September 30, 2016 at 2:59 pm #116813
    Totoro
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Thanks for your response. I’m not sure what I was trying to get into here. Is it normal to miss somebody so abusive? It definitely outweighed the positive aspects of the relationship. I’ve heard a lot of different perspectives, some say the relationship I wanted never existed, as if he was a ghost. Perhaps I loved the idea of him?
    I dont know, I’ve also been told to look into narcissism. A lot of what I read about I can definitely relate X to.

    He left me via text message after 4 years of living together – that’s an ouch. His excuse was that he wanted to go “fix” his life. He has quite a lot of debt which I can understand .. But he seemed to think that I was the cause of all of his issues.

    He also loved to say that I never changed for him. And that he has changed so much to make me happy IE Quitting Cocaine, cigarettes, and even stopped seeing a group of friends for me (mind you this was the group that influenced him into hard drugs)

    I dont know why I find myself obsessing over what I did wrong to deserve any of this? It’s hard to say if anything was real – maybe I was just easily fooled.

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