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B.B.

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  • in reply to: How can I help my girlfriend feel better? #66395
    B.B.
    Participant

    Thank you for the support.
    As you said, the first thing one should do is taking care of himself, and that’s what I’m going to be concentrating on.

    However, I’m currently trying to deal with my response to the situation and since it’s not really relationship-oriented (apart from being a consequence) I decided to create a new thread over here.
    I’d appreciate any wisdom that all of you might have for me.

    in reply to: Numbness as an "emotional" response #66406
    B.B.
    Participant

    Your situation seems a bit different to mine, though. You seem like you’re still mourning, whereas I just don’t give a damn.

    I think that one cannot invest his emotional well-being into a thing or a person, different from himself. People should not obsess over people or objects, at least a little attachment is unavoidable for most of us, but a lot is something that we should be wary of. I doubt that a lot of people could live without attachment to the things that they love, but everyone could try to build the foundations of their lives around themselves and not said things that they love. No one but ourselves can be the center of our universe.

    Don’t get me wrong, though, you can be sad, you don’t need to fight it. It’s just a matter of where the sadness is coming from – is it just an emotion that’s the direct resulf of losing someone that you love or is it the result of the ego telling you sob stories. Don’t victimise yourself, stuff like that happens. Let it go. Accept it and let it go. It’s not about looking on the bright side or lying to yourself, it sucks, believe me, I know. But events are not good or bad, we simply percieve them as such and as long as you internally create drama around the break up, you’re goind to be locked in your own prison of misery and self-pity.

    Source: We broke up again half an year ago, but then got back together. The best thing that I did during the first break up is what I advised you to do. Hope it helps. Internet hugs to you, David. 🙂

    Alas, my own advice can’t help me. As I said, I’ve been growing and learning, but currently it all means nothing. :\

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 2 months ago by B.B..
    in reply to: How can I help my girlfriend feel better? #66137
    B.B.
    Participant

    Thank you for the replies guys.

    We decided once again that our relationship is going nowhere (at least for her) and I can’t be happy in the relationship if she isn’t.
    If she needs a friendly shoulder I can be there, but after all of this we’ll probably need to stay away from each other for some time. Not because there are any feelings of resentment or the like, it’s just going to be better for us emotionally.

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