Hi Ale,

My head is like yours too. I feel like a billion thoughts per minute going on in the head. I can only suggest you the ways to come out of your ‘mind’ problem, but the “doing” part will be yours.

Right now, what is stopping you from going into the inner body (link below) which takes the attention away from the thinking mind?
(https://tinybuddha.com/topic/emotional-addiction/page/3/#post-174061)

You might say I don’t even know my mind has got lost into thinking. That is the duty of the mind, to pull you into thinking.
If you have read the post thoroughly it does contain the solutions to these problems.

“Don’t be concerned if the mind occasionally succeeds in drawing your attention out of the body and you lose yourself in some thought. As soon as you notice that this has happened, just return your attention to the inner body.”

“Be more focused on your subtle energy body and do not spend so much time in following the distractions of the mind. Thoughts may come but your job is not to jump onto the train of thoughts. Catch yourself – “Ah there I was thinking again….there I was starting to make mind-movies….there is my mind monkeying around.” Go back to your inner body.”

The trick is if you start by going into your inner body you will not go much frequently into your head,
but if you start by going into your head you will not wish to go into your body (because the mind has already taken over) and it takes some time to come back to the present (especially for people who get lots of thoughts).
So you need to start with the former.
Begin with the morning and night routine mentioned in the above post and then throughout your daily activities.

But are you doing this is the question?

Warm Regards,
VJ

Dear Sonakshi,

“I still want him to atleast care about the fact that he did wrong and that he lost me. But he doesn’t. ”
This may or may not be possible. By wanting others to think the way we want we are only trying to pose an impossible expectation on others (or in turn on life) and I’m sure you are aware of this.

“I wish time would go by quickly and I am healed. I wisb God, or Karma, someday make him realize what he did and what he lost. One can hope.”
Again, this (making him realize) may or may not happen. This is because we do not know why this occurred. Was it your past bad karma that caused this incident to be returned to you? If that is the case then what he did to you has now been nullified by Karma.
OR if it was he who was really doing his bad karma then he will get the results of his Karma at the right time.
But we do not know whose Karma was it. Only Life/God/Karma knows it. So we better leave it to that and not expect something to happen (things like he should realize etc.)

“I wanna let go of him entirely. Help.”
The good thing is you have now come out of the situation. But yes the situation/person is still in the head, stuck in your body’s energetic system. You are not able to let go of it/him.
Chant the below as many times as you can to break the karmic link with the person/situation. Either mentally, loudly or softly or however it works best for you.

Format: I _______ FORGIVE YOU _____________, YOU ALSO PLEASE FORGIVE ME AND RELEASE ME, THANK YOU.
Example: I FORGIVE YOU , YOU ALSO PLEASE FORGIVE ME AND RELEASE ME, THANK YOU.

Best Regards,
VJ

• This reply was modified 7 years ago by VJ.

Dear Kayla,

Nothing has happened to you other than that you have become mentally exhausted after life’s challenges thrown at you.

Most of the times there may be nothing extra that is needed…..Simply lying down and breathing is needed.

– try Conscious breathing

(http://dev.tinybuddha.com/blog/conscious-breathing-simplest-way-work-emotional-pain-enjoy-life/)

When the blocked energy in the head (or body) is dissolved, you will start to regain control of your life back again. You will start talking to people again and start to make decisions on what is needed in any particular situation.

Regards,
~VJ

Dear ale,

“This could be the start, but I know that I’ll fall in few time, and I’ll re-start to find some solution to be happy/calm on the web. It is a devil loop!!”

I can relate to you as this is the way I have been too. Even the slightest of thing that takes the peace away from me will cause me to reach for a book or a web search to find what can be done to bring me back to peace again.

And just to let you know, because of this I now have a collection of several techniques AND NONE OF THOSE TECHNIQUES WORK only because the mind is looking for a problem-solution approach.

So below is what I can suggest you.

Give yourself a break from all the techniques you already know. Give yourself a break from all the mental concepts you already know.

Get rid of the aim to find any kind of solution to feel yourself better. Drop your underlying expectation that there is something wrong with me and I always need to do something to feel better. Eliminate the urge to do something to “repair” yourself each time something wrong happens in the head (or in the body in the case of anxiety).

All of those that you are experiencing is nothing but “mind activity”.
When your mind won’t let you alone feel the inner energy of your entire body.

Be more focused on your subtle energy body and do not spend so much time in following the distractions of the mind. Thoughts may come but your job is not to jump onto the train of thoughts. Catch yourself – “Ah there I was thinking again….there I was starting to make mind-movies….there is my mind monkeying around.” Go back to your inner body.

Your job is to get out of thinking. Don’t take your thoughts too seriously. All you have to do is get of your head and bring your attention back to your inner body awareness.
—————————————————————————————————–
Feel Your Inner Body:

If you are not familiar with “inner body” awareness, close your eyes for a moment and find out if there is life inside your hands. Don’t ask your mind…go to the hands directly. By this it means to become aware of the subtle feeling of aliveness inside them. Raise your hand and with your eyes closed try to find where your lifted hand is. It is there. You just have to go there with your attention to notice it with your eyes closed. You may get a slight tingling sensation at first, then a feeling of energy or aliveness. If you hold your attention in your hands for a while, the sense of aliveness will intensify…

Then go to your feet, keep your attention there for a minute or so, and begin to feel your hands and feet at the same time. Then incorporate other parts of the body–legs, arms, abdomen, chest, and so on–go into that feeling until you are aware of the inner body as a global sense of aliveness. Feel the entire inner body as one single energy field.

Practice this exercise to get a feel for the energy in your inner body. When you know and recognize that feeling, you can call upon it anytime you want to feel peaceful and happy. For me, the chest or heart area is where I can feel it most easily as it is more intense there. If the feeling for you is more intense in one particular area of your body then you can focus more there.

—————————————————————————————————–
Daily morning and night routine:

When you are unoccupied for a few minutes, and especially last thing at night before falling asleep and first thing in the morning before getting up, “flood” your body with consciousness (energy in the inner body).

Close your eyes.

Lie flat on your back.

Choose different parts of your body to focus your attention on briefly at first: hands, feet, arms, legs, abdomen, chest, head, and so on. Feel the life energy inside those parts as intensely as you can.

Stay with each part for fifteen seconds or so. Then let your attention run through the body like a wave a few times, from feet to head and back again.

This need only take a minute or so. After that, feel the inner body in its totality, as a single field of energy. Hold that feeling for a few minutes.

Be intensely present during that time, present in every cell of your body. Don’t be concerned if the mind occasionally succeeds in drawing your attention out of the body and you lose yourself in some thought. As soon as you notice that this has happened, just return your attention to the inner body.
—————————————————————————————————–
Feeling your inner body will cut the link with any mind activity (the root cause of all problems), making you present, giving you a sense of peace, happiness and joy again. All of these – in spite of any problems in real life. Follow the routine and see how it feels without attaching your mind to any results. The mind will ask “Is that thing working?”. Return to your inner body. Later on with the practice, along with the morning and night routine, with your eyes open this can also be done anytime throughout the day sitting at your office desk and even while talking to someone. Your quality of life will change.

If you are like me as explained at the top, you will later on start to search for articles on the web regarding feeling the inner body. Don’t do that. There is nothing more to it. This is all you ever need.

Warm Regards,

VJ

post not submitted…re-submitting.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 6 months ago by VJ.

Hi Aart,

Reading your first paragraph itself made me think that you may be from India, especially when I read the word “bench”  🙂 . I am an IT professional from India too. I have also been on bench a couple of times. So that I could try to suggest something can you tell what are your IT skillsets and in which city are you looking for a job and a soulmate? Also, are you looking for in a specific caste?

~VJ

• This reply was modified 7 years, 7 months ago by VJ.

Dear H,

“Perhaps one day when I learn to love myself things may change – Do you have any tips in this department? In learning how to love yourself?”

Go to the very bottom of this link where it says “Join us & Receive a Free Love Pack of 5 Heart Gifts”

(http://www.globalloveproject.com/)

Register for Free with your name and email. You can use an alias email id if you prefer to not use your original email Id.

You will receive the 5 pdfs on your email on different days….short e-books for FREE
1. Secrets to Loving Yourself! – 18 pages
2. 10 ROAD-BLOCKS TO SELF LOVE – 15 pages

…are just couple of examples.
And if you are interested in something with a small paid amount then check out the below link from the same person (Aine Belton) as for the above website which includes daily emails, steps, processes, exercises, guided meditations (more on the link below)

(http://www.30dayselflovejourney.com)
Warm Regards,
VJ

Dear curious soul.

Having said your relationship going on with your husband is fine and that you consider him to be a soulmate and being together for 6 years before marriage and 2 years after marriage, I do not think it is good to have such kind of thoughts. If it is as per what you said, in a way you should be fortunate to have a husband like this. You may not want to imagine him having an extra marital physical relationship with someone.

“I also know that I would have to let my feelings for my guy friend dissolve but I just don’t know how to do that”

Your thoughts are understandable and this is not your fault. There is a pull in your mind towards that person and you are not able to control it.

So then what to do? This is all happening because of past Karma.

Getting straight away to what needs to be done in order burn/dissolve Karma…

1)  From what you have explained you still have the energetic cords (ties) of attachment with this person. These cords are invisible since they are at an energetic level. They are also called as psychic ties and they are especially with past relationships.
All you have to do is cut the energetic cords of attachment to get it out from your head so that you can be fully present.

Please go through the below links to know more on what it is and what to do-
(http://ascendedrelationships.com/cutting-energy-cords/)

(http://www.soulconnection.ca/cord-cutting.html)

Calling upon Archangel Michael with his golden sword is a very famous way of cutting negative cords-
(http://www.nikkiboruch.com/how-to-cut-energetic-cords-with-archangel-michael)

There are many ways of doing this. Simply do a web search on “cutting energetic cords of attachment”

If you prefer something visual then there are lots of videos on YouTube too.

2) Forgiveness Exercise:

Format: I _______ FORGIVE YOU _____________, YOU PLEASE FORGIVE ME AND RELEASE ME, THANK YOU.
Example: I FORGIVE YOU , YOU PLEASE FORGIVE ME AND RELEASE ME, THANK YOU.

Chant the above as many times as possible. This is very effective. You can do this whenever you are no able to do the 1st one….or even when you are cooking, washing dishes, standing in a queue, etc…

Do both the above ‘energy healing exercises’ and see your situation change for the better.

Take care,
VJ