Hi srk,

It’s great to hear from you and about your progress.

You are on the right track.

“Even when the thoughts do arise I do not become anxious or ponder over it. It just passes away harmlessly.”

That what you said above is the secret to all of life.

Best wishes,

VJ

Hi Stuart,

I read your other post too. I will suggest you to start by jotting down what do you think what will make you happy.

Yes you have just been through the break up and initially its not going to be easy. It is understandable. But you will have to do this. For yourself. Especially during this time one lives too much in the head. So engage your mind by doing what’s satisfying, not what’s right. (Not alcohol, drugs, smoking and likewise). See what will least make you begin to feel happy, peaceful and joyful again. See what can you do for fun. What do you usually do to relax? What you normally do when you feel bored? Discover which activities are fun and engaging to you personally. These activities engage your mind and body the most, and they can take you into the present most effectively.

Eckhart has rightly said – “Wherever you go, there you are”. Wherever you go your mind will also go along with you and what’s on your mind at that moment will determine how you are feeling at that time. See that you don’t live too much in the head.

You can start by preparing a list and sticking it to your wall instead of asking the mind what do I next to make me happy. I had submitted these in another post and pasting them here.

Start to shift your mind by doing things where there is less or no interaction with other people….just in the beginning.

•  Go and watch the sunset or simply go to a beach  (sounds cliche but is really worth the visit)

• Go and buy something to eat for yourself that you like very much

• Go for a walk simply to a place where you have never been before.

Of course go to a safe and known place. Keep walking and walking just for the heck of it. No particular agenda in mind, no destination to go, just keep going. Once you are tired or feel like you have gone far then return back. Make sure that you know the road to return back :). This is a perfect thing to do to empty our minds.

•  Simply go to the roof, lie on your back, both hands under your head, and watch the sky

• Sit down and take ten deep breaths. Make these breaths absolutely conscious.

• Take a different route to your workplace. Just for the heck of it – for no reason at all

• Be still for a while

Sit somewhere in the greens or on a park bench, and be quiet for a few minutes. Nothing to do, nowhere to go. Simply sit.

• Inhale a fragrance that you like

Maybe Lavender or maybe Peppermint or maybe Rose……or whatever you like. Whatever that boosts your mood and makes you feel nice.

• Watch the sunrise

If you have watched the sunset (in #1); now for a change, wake up early on some morning and watch the sunrise too.

• Have a good and hearty laugh.

Put some YouTube videos that make you laugh and giggle or read a comic book if you like it that way

• Go alone to a museum or a gallery

• Become more conscious of your health

Add at least one healthy item in your breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Then add two. Continue as you wish.

• Stroke a pet

• Take a “self-spa” at home (or maybe even at an actual spa).

Take a long bath or shower, sit long in the tub if you prefer. Apply something of nice fragrance.

• Strike something off from your to-do list

Either something that you have been postponing for a long time or something that is easy and quick to do.

• Disconnect yourself for an hour

No phones, no messages, no social media, no emails, no internet.

• Shake yourself

Put your favorite track and dance your heck out of it. If you do not like dancing then simply put your favorite songs and listen to them.

The list is going to be endless and these are just starters. Prepare your own list.

“Happy people plan actions, they don’t plan results.”– Dennis Waitle

Make sure instead of focusing on the target (of being happy), focus on the process itself, and start enjoying the current moment.

~VJ

Hi mightyconcorde,

” I seem to be on my own path of ego death”

Would like to know what is your path of going into the death of the ego?

” I am thrilled to see this in my research”

How exactly are your research ways?

I am aware of the “shift” that happened to Eckhart when his ego dissolved several years ago. Also at times I do follow Eckhart’s teachings. So you could discuss his words here.

I guess once people know that the death of the go is the most important thing that is required in life, then one would want to know what the 7 steps are to achieve them.

~VJ

• This reply was modified 6 years, 8 months ago by VJ.

Hi gj,

I see from your post that you are doing the “action” part right “by focusing more on the process”, “taking help from colleagues”, “I feel like I can definitely improve”, “I hope I’m getting there”. But not doing the “thinking” part right.

Just today this image is on Tinybuddha’s home page.

You are being too hard on yourself. Take it lightly.
Let me tell you the reality of life. You (me and everyone else) are going to face several people in our daily lives that are going to put us down, criticize us (either constructively or destructively), pull us down whenever we are progressing or doing something right.

But your job is not to get pulled into their storm. You have to keep life simple – by following the below.

Whenever someone criticizes you, take it as 2 options-
i.] If someone says something about you and if they are right:
Then stop thinking about what they said and start working towards it. For eg; If someone calls me a fat person. If will think for a while “Am I fat, is my weight not according to my body”. If that comes out to be true then I will say “Oh yes, they are right”. Then I have to start working on it by exercising, having a healthy diet, taking appropriate rest. etc.” This is for my own good. I will become a healthy person if I work on it. I will take their opinion as a feedback from life and do whatever it takes to bring about an improvement in my situation.

ii.] If someone says something about you and if they are NOT right:
Then how does it really matter? If I am a male and someone calls me a female do I really need to go ahead and prove that person that I am a male. They are wrong about me. They need to make themselves right. It is their headache. It is their problem.

Keep it simple. Don’t allow the mind to over complicate things. That way you will live a peaceful life no matter what happens around you.

Best wishes,

VJ

• This reply was modified 6 years, 8 months ago by VJ.

Hi Rainbow,

I was also going to suggest you ho’oponopono. It is a perfect solution to all of your problems. How is it going with you? How are you doing it? Since how long have you been doing and how many times a day?

Best,

VJ

Hi Jim,

Read the lines on the below hooponopono video.

(www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Qoq75-DQm4)

~VJ

Hi k.k.,

Mark has suggested a good technique for forgiveness.

Along with that I suggested you to practice Ho’oponopono to help restore harmony within yourself and with others. Please go through both the articles entirely.

i] http://www.upliftconnect.com/hawaiian-practice-of-forgiveness/

ii] http://www.laughteronlineuniversity.com/practice-hooponopono-four-simple-steps/

Best wishes,

VJ

Hi Jim,

All you ever need to come out of your situation (mindset) is Self-Love. First, love and forgiveness for the self and then extending it back to others.

For this I will suggest you the simple and powerful ancient Hawaiian technique of Ho’oponopono which is based on Repentance, Forgiveness, Gratitude and Love.

i] www.upliftconnect.com/hawaiian-practice-of-forgiveness

ii] www.laughteronlineuniversity.com/practice-hooponopono-four-simple-steps

Please go through both the articles entirely. Practice it for at least 21 days (which is the time required to form a new habit) and post back here how you feel about your situation.

Best wishes,
VJ