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Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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  • July 15, 2013 at 10:42 pm #38729
    Victoria
    Participant

    Aaaand this one!

    July 15, 2013 at 10:34 pm #38722
    Victoria
    Participant

    I’ll also leave you a link of a Youtube video by sex educator Laci Green 🙂 Hope it makes you reflect more on it!

    July 15, 2013 at 10:29 pm #38720
    Victoria
    Participant

    What Matt said! But for me it’s honesty, basically. Even if it hurts sometimes. Saying the truth is better than keeping secrets, even if you think you’re doing it to protect your partner. And lots of cuddling. Like LOTS. You need alone time with your significant other! You need time spent apart from friends or family or whatever. And you can dedicate that time to cuddle 😀

    July 14, 2013 at 5:56 pm #38611
    Victoria
    Participant

    First of all: what a cool job! Now onto the issue ;).

    “Virginity” is what you make of it. It’s actually a socially constructed term that used to be relevant when you could sell your daughter’s dowry to a potential husband that wanted her hymen to remain intact. *laughs* As you said yourself, some people think you must wait until you are in a relationship with someone you love or care about, while others want to get it over with. Why? Because it’s still a rite of passage for most of us.

    I was about to turn 20 when I had sex for the first time. I’d known the guy for about 2 weeks and we were friends. After a party, we had sex. Then I came back to my home country and we remained Facebook friends, no emotional attachments at all. I believe I had so much curiosity on the topic (I started reading about sexual relationships when I was around 7) that I couldn’t wait for a boyfriend, like most of my friends did. It was liberating to go against the status quo, to be honest!

    However, this might be different for you! Think about how you might feel afterwards if you have sex in a relationship versus with a friend or even a stranger. Do YOU think you should wait? Or do you want to do it already? Any choice is perfectly okay!

    July 11, 2013 at 5:59 am #38395
    Victoria
    Participant

    Oh honey 🙁 You’re putting so much pressure on yourself! I’ve been there, trying to please everyone and feeling low, even when I was trying my hardest.

    Do YOU think you’re good-looking? Do YOU think you’re hard-working? Do you really want to look like an average teenager? Never mind what those people have told you. Your opinion is the one that matters. Also, its very unprofessional of your teacher to call you lazy! I would feel so hurt, too. How rude of her. And I hope that by “college” you mean sixth form, last years of high school?

    Don’t let these people step on you. Do what you want and ignore the rest. Maybe they’re jealous because you’re actually very gifted and they aren’t! Who knows. Do not let them dictate how you behave! You’re much better than that.

    xx

    May 27, 2013 at 6:55 pm #36164
    Victoria
    Participant

    Ahlive,

    Thank you SO much for this reply. I’m sorry your experience was so difficult and that you have to go back to your home country now. What graduate program were you on?

    I’ll try my best to follow a wellness routine. I know it’s very necessary and I have to rebuild some good habits I lost due to my ED recovery and such. Thing is, when I was abroad for 6 weeks I also suffered. I’ve been away on my own twice. The first time was disastrous and the second, not so much. I was completely alone, but I was so happy at times. I had these emotional highs I’ve seldom experienced in my life. And I went there when I was amidst my depression, having left uni because my eating disorder was out of control… I’m doing much better now. If I do leave this city, I’ll go with my long-term partner, whom I love very much, so hopefully I won’t feel as lonely as I would if I went by myself.

    I have thought about the things I’ll miss from here. My cats. My comfy bed. The spaciousness of my home. The fact that I know everyone at my supermarket, as well as the neighbours who recognize me every now and then. But I think I’m ready to take the leap. I’ve been an undergrad for so, so long that I’ve grown tired of living here. I try to not daydream about going abroad and be realistic, just like you say I should, and even when I don’t daydream I think it’ll be a 10 times better there than it is here. I don’t know if I’ll be able to endure a break up, though! Not even if I stay here 😛

    Again, thank you so much for replying. It was a well thought answer. I hope we can keep in touch! <3

    May 24, 2013 at 3:33 pm #36086
    Victoria
    Participant

    Hi GreatWhiteGoddess :D. Thank you for replying. I’m currently on antidepressants and see my psychiatrist monthly. I actually had to wean myself off my SSRI so I could focus better. Well, not entirely: I went from 100 mg down to 50 mg

    I’ve thought about going back to counselling, but I’m saving for a trip at the end of the year and I don’t want to put more financial pressure on my mother. Money is tight (as it is for everyone), so I might go back at the start of 2014.

    May 23, 2013 at 9:33 pm #36058
    Victoria
    Participant

    About slacking at university: I wasn’t like this until after my gap year (which I took to focus on my ED recovery). Before that, I was an excellent student. I got top grades and teachers loved me, even though I didn’t have a clear vision of my future. I feel that losing my perfectionist tendencies has dumbed me down. I’ve become irresponsible. Seriously.
    Practising compassion and letting go has helped me do better in terms of my eating disorder (I don’t have that many compulsive eating episodes). However, when it comes to uni and achieving the grades I want, I’m not doing good at all. Heck, I failed classes last semester! It’s also related with being tired of studying. 8 years of undergrad is a LONG time…

    • This reply was modified 11 years, 6 months ago by Victoria.
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