I wrote you back but do not see it. Did you get it? ( Anita)

I found it in my sent emails. I will copy and paste and add a little something because right now I am absolutely sick with grief about this. The thought I might never see him again is so painful. I am trying to be logical. Thinking about it makes my head hurt but I keep thinking that after 4 years and how close we are that he wouldn’t just throw all of this away.

Anita, Your observations are right and true.  I can talk to him about things if I approach him in a non-accusatory way. I forget or get upset and that is what happened this time. I am OK with it this way because you are absolutely correct in saying that it is possible to have a relationship without drama or fighting because my mom and dad had this type of love and life together.

I am praying that after he gets over this, he will call me. It is hard to imagine he would give up all the good we have because we have much much more good than bad.

All I can do for now is wait on him.

Thank you, Anita.

I want to stay positive and hopeful that things will not end. I believe this is helpful to do that.

• This reply was modified 6 years, 2 months ago by maggie mac.

Yes, Anita. He had just left from being here for a visit and had gone back to work. One of the last things we talked about before he left is how he is streamlining his office so he can come here more. Thank you so much for your reply. I hope he contacts me too. In one way I have lots of faith in our relationship. In the other way, I am afraid everything is just going to fall apart.

Poppy, I understand about the honeymoon period and how we can drop one relationship only to repeat the same thing in a new relationship because we haven’t solved the problems. It wasn’t like we had it and it gradually lessened. It is more that he just doesn’t talk about US. He doesn’t  make plans or talk about our future. It’s weird. But I get what you are saying.

Anita, I didn’t even want to have lunch really… I just did it to catch up. I feel so strongly about guy #1 that it would make me ill even thinking of being with another guy. I didn’t think I had room in my heart for another feeling about someone else. I understand the options and how I could transfer my feelings from one to the other, but if that is so, then where does love come into play? If I love him then HOW can I just all of a sudden feel that the little I am getting isn’t enough? I still love him. If not then what even is love? I don’t want to think I was just loving him because there was no one else available. He is still the man I have been crazy about for over 3 years. You are right that I want and need love and attention and to be with someone or at least feel we are moving that way. I really want all this from Guy #1. He might not be able to give it.

Inky this is a continuation of another post to you so don’t miss the other one but, now even if he asked me to marry him I am not sure anymore! Before I would have been the happiest girl on earth. Now, I know I might have to go through life with someone who isn’t equipped to show me the kind of love I want.

Yes, I want to be open about our feelings. When we first started seeing other people he told me he wanted to marry me and how much he adored me. He seems to have VERY deep feelings about things but he has a hard time showing them. I ask him sometimes why he never mentions our future together anymore and he doesn’t say much about it. He just says that he wants to marry me and that he loves me more than anything. But that is all he says. I am wondering if because I like this other person when I didn’t have any idea I could have feelings for someone else, that I have lost some of my feelings for my current boyfriend.

Maybe not lost… maybe just see him in a different more realistic light. He makes me laugh all the time and came to me at a time when I needed him. He made me believe in love again and gave me a reason to believe in myself again. I don’t want to turn my back on all of this. But, I like the way this other one is so open and wants to do things with me. Maybe I am just tired of being alone. My current boyfriend live 12 hours away and all we do is talk on the phone and I haven’t seen him since June of this year. That is 6 months! This new person, although I am having to get used to him because he is so different from the other one there is something about him that makes me feel like I really belong and I feel safe. My current boyfriend seems to hold things at a distance. Maybe I feel like he is holding me at a distance.

I have been in this relationship for 3 and 3/4 years. I do tell him. He says he wants to be with me all the time and that he loves me. He seems to have a hard time with up close and personal dealings of an emotional nature. Like maybe he is detached or is hard to talk about his feelings. I don’t  know… maybe this is why I am so tired.

No, I am not married. Thank you.