If you have another place to sleep you could not sleep with him. Stop cuddling with him and really act like you are on a break. He needs to see what it feels like without your emotional contact. As long as he is getting that he is happy. You have to make him feel what it would be like if you were not in his life. Don’t be mean but be cool and just polite.

You say he checks on you when he feels like you pull away. So this means he doesn’t like it when you don’t give him your emotional energy. So make him feel it so he can come to a decision about you.

Nana, I want to say to you. Bless you. You sound so confused and that war in your mind is knowing things are not right or there would be no war. You said you worried about messing up what could be a beautiful relationship. You won’t. If he loves you and you love him and it is meant for you to be together nothing can pull you apart.

I think the problem is that you didn’t take any time alone to deal with the betrayal he inflicted upon you.

If possible, try to not see him for a designated amount of time where you make no contact. Give yourself time. It will also let him know that you value yourself and you will not just take him back when he does this. He will respect you more.

He might jump into another relationship because it seems this is his MO but if he loves you he won’t. He will give you the time you need to end this war and decide what is best for you.

Michelle, My boyfriend of 4 years just did this same thing to me… said he was busy busy busy. And then all of a sudden he just disappeared.

Sara, I know that if a man loves a woman he will move heaven and earth to be with her.  Maybe this one is really too overwhelmed but do you really want a man that doesn’t check on you for 4 days?

I thought I couldn’t live without my ex-boyfriend but it has been a month and I am getting better. It is not easy. All the wondering like you are doing or what did he feel and did he mean it or did he lose it? Just what?

It is actually quite crushing. Mine sang me love songs, told me I was his everything, his rock, the love of his life etc. but looking back his actions didn’t line up with his words. All of a sudden he was very busy, then I suspected some lies (he was still calling every day) then he vanished.

I hope you get some answers and mostly some peace about all of this.

Just for today, promise yourself that no matter how you feel, you will act like everything is fine. Say the things you would say if you were happy. Act like the relationship is perfect. Just for one day don’t let your anxiety rule your life. If you cannot say anything positive just don’t talk much. Just listen to him. Smile.

You need to get some positive experience behind you so you can break this chain of thinking he wants you out of his life. What you are feeling are your anxiety and stress and you are projecting it on to him and the relationship.

You need some time without your emotions running the show.

Act like you have the best relationship in the world. Be happy even if you don’t feel it. Small changes in our brain chemistry are very helpful.

Give your cares to God and ask Him to relieve you of your anxiety. Sit and just breathe. Push against this anxiety and try not to let it rule over you.

I hope you will get relief.