Thank you, anita,

I know I shouldn’t be offended when guys are sexually interested in me, but if that’s all they want, as a woman, it can be a little hurtful.

The more I think about it, this guy could also be on the Spectrum.

Thank you again for assisting me. As always, you have been a great help.

Hi anita,

Thank you so much for responding.

Yes, on the trip there were about 30 of us and only 4 of us were Black, all women, two older (Seniors) and the other who was a bit closer to my age. I spoke up a lot on the trip, asking questions, sharing insights and thoughts on political/refugee issues, etc.

Yes, he is a Christian and I know he’s been around Black/Brown/People of color before. Not sure if he has any close friends or anything like that, but he seems to get along with everyone and what he does for work he encounters all types of people at all times.

One more thing to note so that I get it all out of my head; There was a moment on the trip when myself and the other three Black women saw a Black Soldier and began talking with him (we were always excited to see one of our own) after we were done talking, moments later the Reverend comes over starts talking with the soldier too, and then calls me over. When I walk over he introduces me to the soldier and then starts to give me his stats “his name is, he is a Christian…blah, blah, blah…like huh?

It was awkward and I found it extremely weird. It’s almost like he was trying to make a connection between myself and the soldier…buy why? Honestly, deep in my gut I think he was trying to gauge if I was into Black guys/this type of guy. I just stood there looking dumbfounded and didn’t really say much to the soldier again because I wasn’t attracted to him. Ah well, just going over stuff in my head.

Thank you, anita.

I appreciate all of your help.

Hi, anita,

Again, thank you for your feedback. This is really valuable insight.

You are correct in that he talks non-stop. I remember when I talked to him those few times before we went on the trip and he did go on and on. He is very intelligent and is an expert in some areas and I believe as you say, doesn’t even realize it.

Another bit of information that I didn’t add in my original OP;

After he sent me the email invite to the x-mas party after I blocked him on FB, I did actually speak with him once more via telephone after that. We talked regarding another group trip. He seemed really excited to discuss the possibility and kept asking me what was a good time and date to talk. Well, we set up a date and time and he said he would call at a specific time an he did. On the dot. He is very anal like that.  Well, needless to say we kept emailing back and forth for a few months as I was supposed to gather information about other interested persons for the trip but with school and all, it often took me long periods of time to get back to him. However, everytime I contacted him he was always polite and still appeared very eager. Needless to say, the trip couldn’t happen and I emailed him one final time to let him know that we would have to wait indefinitely.

I was sad because I thought this would be the last time I would ever speak to him again, or at least in a long while. After receiving my final email that the next trip couldn’t happen at that time, he immediately (in about less than five to seven minutes) emailed me back inviting me on a different trip that he would also be a part of and said he thought it would be a good idea for me to come and learn, etc., etc. I really wanted to go but I had just started a new job and the trip would land during my 90 day probationary period. If I am correct here, he seemed pretty eager to invite me/have me there and kept detailing the highlights of the itinerary, and aked me what I thought. sigh. I knew I couldn’t make it so sadly, I had to decline. We ended off with a final email from him stating “ok, please keep me posted when the trip comes together and ttyl.”

As far as his friends, yes, he does seem to have many. I observed this when we were on each other’s FB. However, I could be wrong. I mean, in my opinion, FB friends are really never real friends anyway. At least the majority. I guess what I really mean to say is he seems to know a lot of people (possibly simply through his work) and I can see that he is well respected within his circle/the community. I did notice as well that when we were on the trip he did move like a person who was more of a loner as he didn’t really have many people around him. If I can liken him to anyone to give you a better idea of his character, he reminds me of Mr. Darcy from Pride & Prejudice.

• This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by Lisa.

Mark,

I think you’re right. Thanks again.

Greetings, Anita,

Thank you for your feedback. I have also talked with some friends and family about this matter and as with here, I’ve received conflicting responses. Some have said he’s good. Some have said he’s bad. I know anything is possible. However, this just makes me even more confused.

Thank you, just_let_go!

Honestly, at first I thought it was kind of cute but when I evaluated the situation again I realized he wasn’t behaving in a normal fashion…in a way that I want a guy that is romantically attracted to me to conduct himself! I guess what threw me off  was how polite and normal he sounded on the phone call. Needless to say I’ve been keeping my distance.

Best,

VIS