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Valentina

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Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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  • #309315
    Valentina
    Participant

    Michelle,

    taking the steps whether to officially leave my fiancĆ© has been difficult. I have considered staying with his mother but in reality I have a job to attend to and bills to pay so unfortunately I wouldnā€™t be able to take time off (weeks) to be with his mom for emotional support. I have been taking the time to really think about what I want in life. I appreciate your advice.

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by Valentina.
    #309311
    Valentina
    Participant

    Mark,

    It does makes sense. yes I have found that the only reason why I would talk to the other man was because he was kinder but I really donā€™t know if heā€™s kind in person if we wouldā€™ve went on a date. For the last few days I have really put in thought that it is Ā best for me to focus on myself and my child instead of men. I do definitely need the space away from relationships.

    #308629
    Valentina
    Participant

    Mark,

    At the moment he doesnā€™t want to take medication for his bipolar disorder. He did say he will make an appointment with his dr to ask for natural alternatives to cope with his anger. I advised him to take some kind of class since there is classes available. We talked and he does not want to leave our relationship he wants to continue to be with me and for our child. Again I believe I had an ā€œemotional affairā€ with another man because Of the way he has treated me.

    Yes correct itā€™s my house. I havenā€™t changed the locks because he has respected the fact that I want space until he thinks through what he is going to do with his issue. I am still upset for how he treated me for the first two days after he choked me I wasnā€™t able to swallow any hard food just liquids. Ā I also texted the other man and it feels as the other man has moved on. The other man asked me if I missed him and I said ā€œyes I doā€ and he responded asking me why do I miss him and so does he. When I wanted to start a conversation about whatā€™s new with his life he didnā€™t respond and I believe heā€™s moved on which is a good thing for him. But at the moment I am just confused about my love life! All I want is stability with my feelings.

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by Valentina.
    #308401
    Valentina
    Participant

    Chloe,

    I have told him to leave my house and he respected that and left so far right now we are taking a break because idk whether I should ask him to get help for his bipolar issues but Iā€™m afraid it will back fire if I ask him to get help. I have been on the hotline many times for the past years and I have been afraid to pick up the phone and call the locations the persons on the hotline have gave me to call. Thereā€™s nights where I wake up panicked looking at him. When he was younger he would take medication for his issue but Iā€™m not sure if I should bring it up to him. Iā€™ve told his mother and she said she was going to advise him to take action with his issue or else she will allow me and my child to stay with her in the state she lives in. (His mother and I are 11 hours away.)

    #308051
    Valentina
    Participant

    You are right mark. Thank you.

    #307949
    Valentina
    Participant

    Thank you Mark for all the information you have provided I honestly didnā€™t know that being in an abusive relationship can really take a bad effect on a child this is good for me to know because that way I can take the time to really think about this for my childā€™s health.

    #307939
    Valentina
    Participant

    Thank you mark, I continued to chat with them and they gave me resources I can contact. I have been dealing with this for 7 years and itā€™s not an easy decision.

    #305259
    Valentina
    Participant

    Chloe, I read your post and Iā€™m glad your overcoming your situation with that man. You have a lot of strength. Iā€™m happy Iā€™m not the only one that has gone through this situation while currently in a relationship. I find that working out really helps me not thinking about the other man because I think about me and how I feel within my inner self. So far itā€™s been one month for me and Iā€™m finding it sort of hard to move on but I know time heals. Again thank you for sharing your post.

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