Hi, I am currently living a similar situation. I find myself being often angry at my boyfriend, even when he is not with me. Every time he indulges into one of his habits that I don’t like, like smoking cigarettes, or weed, drinking beer or taking other substances. All habits that I try to avoid myself.  It kills me to see him do it because I feel like I have to fight twice to get passed these bad habits, first over myself and then over him. I am trying to cure a mononucleosis and am not feeling very well and need to take some time to cure myself and seeing him having all these bad habits just isn’t helping, and I can’t help but being mad at him for that. I also started having all these negative thoughts about him like maybe he is not as proactive and mature as I thought he was, sometimes I feel like I am his mother around the appartment (telling him we have to clean up or go to the groceries etc.) We started kinda living together three months ago after having met two months earlier and at first it seemed like a great idea and now I’m just not so sure about it… now he went back to work and live at his parents and we are not going to see for a few weeks, and that makes me feel more balanced (if that makes sense?), but I still feel sometimes angry at him when I think back about all the things that upsetted me the last week we spent together. And whenever I think about breaking up with him it makes me feel really sad because I really saw myself go through life with him, and he is still so supportive of me, and tells me he’s ready to change all of his bad habits to make me happy and keep me, but I don’t know why I still always find a way to be angry at him, or I’m not sure if he can be true to his words that he’s gonna change ?

Anyways, I don’t know what to do, I am not sure if it’s a problem coming from me ? Or is it just that I don’t love him enough ? I need to know because I don’t want to keep him waiting for me and keep his hopes up for me if I don’t feel as involved as him in the relationship? Or is it just a problem coming from myself related to the fact that I cannot solve my own problems created by my own bad habits?

i just don’t know what to do, and I don’t want to hurt him, and I feel like I would lose so much, someone that loves me sooo much if I’d break up with him, and still, if I go on with him, I don’t know how to make this feeling of anger disappear towards him, as I feel like he doesn’t deserve it at all !! Help me please !