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TutsParticipantMark,
Are you suggesting that we live together first before getting married?
Now to answer your question, I have known him since I was 14 and he was 17. We spent numerous times together during school vacations and had several dates, just the two of us while we were still not officially a couple. We’ve always had a ‘mutual understanding’. Also, we have been in contract every day for hours and hours for the past year up to present since we took our relationship to the next level. It’s just that our current situation right now does not allow for us to be physically together.
I know him pretty well. I know all about his his family history, his flaws, finances, his dreams, his quirks, his faith, his views, when he’s having a bad day, his hobbies, and he knows mine too. While we have minor differences, (for example, he’s a morning person, I am not) we have more similarities (like views on kids, marriage, sex, church, politics, laws, etc.)
As for the hard stuff? Can you be more specific? Because the hard stuff that we’re dealing with right now is the intense disapproval of my family and how we will both still have to deal with it in the future. I’m not gonna lie. We’ve had fights but so far we’ve managed to sort things out. We are both working it out individually, me on working on my independence and growing out of the shadow of my overbearing family, and him when it comes to his debts. We know we’ll probably face other obstacles in the future, but we’re both in this for the long haul.
TutsParticipantYes Mark. We are both adults. I’m 27 years old, he’s 30. We’ve been exclusively dating each other for a year. We’re not in rush. His contract is until September next year. We’re planning to get married by December 2020 or by February 2021. By August this year, we’re positive he will be able to pay all his debts and start our joint savings. I am debt-free but I only have an ample amount of savings because I help pay the education of my siblings because I am the eldest (I have 2 sisters, the I pay for the tuition fee and expenses of the second one).
We’ve always been in contact for years since 2007 but didn’t get together because we always had to prioritize something else (like he had to study and work at the time and I had to focus on finishing my medical degree). We lost contact for about a year and a half 2016-2017. Then he told me he’s going to work abroad in mid-2017 to find a better paying job. Unfortunately, when he went there (spending his savings and all), the job he was supposed to get had already been filled out. So he had to exit the country upon expiration of his visa and re-enter again to find a new job. He had to exit thrice, so he had to loan money from some friends. His first job was just enough to pay for rent and food so he was not able to cut of his debts little by little. But now, he’s got a better paying job that affords him to pay his loans off and still have a few savings.
And yes, he’s my first real committed relationship. We both are.
TutsParticipantAs much as possible, I want to get their blessing for me to marry my fiance. If not, then I suppose we’ll just have to push through with the wedding without them.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 