Helllo everyone I have read all of your post and I still feel broken inside. I resently got married but been with him for 7-8 years. I am only 22 years of age and I think everyday I become more annoying and start nagging more and more. Now I’m yelling and talking to him like a child. I look back and I don’t feel bad. I guess that just means I’m a jerk. When we first dated he was a mean guy he said and did what he wanted. He would even tell me well it’s not like we’re going to last long anyways….we’ll really at the time it didn’t bug me because I just got out of a relationship just like that. I thought it was normal for a guy to act like that since that’s what I saw at home as a child too. But anyways I started wanting more from him. Like companion and talk time etc.

Now says I feel he dose try hard but I’m not satisfied. I feel I look for things to fight with him about but then I think he should be perfect then I think he’s human. I can’t control my anger and anxiety.

Anyways I think my anger came 2 years ago when he first got diagnosed Cancer in his man parts. I was going to school at the time and he was working. He has to stop work and I wanted to sto school to be with him. But really I didn’t. A day ago befor the C word we got into a massive fight we’re we had our hands on each other and I did get hurt. I got a cut on my face and then it became real that I don’t want a relationship like this. I mean it took me some time to stand up for myself  and when I did the C word happen. Now how could I leave him. I didn’t want it to seem like I left him because of that reason. Because it wasn’t. At the time I didn’t have anywhere to go my parents left to Mexico and they gave me the option to stay or go. I was a teen at the time so I couldn’t imagine myself living with out my boyfriend who is now my husband. Wellll anyways his mom took me in and days became weeks and then years.

Marege came up and I told him I don’t want to get married he said your probably just nervous I told him yah maybe. We got married and I still felt the same then I wasted to talk to other guys and be a bet out there. Then I realized something has to be wrong. We disused on counseling but I guess we’re not pushing it. He didn’t push to do anything he’s very go with the flow and that’s where I snap at times. I now I’m on the right steps of getting help but I can’t help to feel he Can do more and I’m just the crazy one that talks  to much.