@The Ruminant

Thank you so very much for your very thoughtful response! You make many very good points that I needed to stop and reflect upon:

What if you look at it as an adventure?

This one I tried at first, working 80 plus hours a week and being in debilitating pain has turned me away from this mentality, but I am working on trying to bring it back. I discover something new or a new person and I remember my spirit of adventure.

Your identity and purpose and your whole being is still with you. It is you. You are focusing on the environment and perhaps mistaking it for who you are?

I think my identity as I or perceived it was tied into being a respected member of a professional network for 12 years and a loving friend to a community of people in my age group who shared many of my views on the world (different viewpoints were welcome, but it was nice to know for the most part we were on the same “page”… Live, let live)

It is difficult to start completely over, to not be respected professionally for your opinions/ knowledge, etc. it’s also painful to be far away from loved ones who share so much history with you. I don’t know that’s it all about identity… Yes, partly… It’s also about people.

You need nurturing. You can also nurture yourself by taking things slowly, if you can, and choosing to talk to yourself in a kind manner, instead of focusing on how scary it is to be so far away from home. Give yourself a break from the fear now and again.

Thank you, this is true.

I would like to gently plant a seed of thought as well. The way you describe yourself and your situation suggests that your identity has been attached to your surroundings even before you moved. So when the surroundings change, you face an identity crisis. Perhaps there is a reason that you are finding yourself in this situation? You are not your job, your friends, your house, your fiance or the potential of being a wife and a mother. You have a personality and a mind, a heart and a soul, which are all unique. You won’t find out the secrets of those by interrogating yourself and forcing yourself to reveal who you are, but you need to pay attention and listen. You can choose how you spend your energy, and instead of worrying about external things, you could perhaps spend that energy on nurturing your being. See what comes out. How will you light up as a person? What does the heart and soul of a Turtletiger look like when it lights up and bursts into joy?

How will I light up, indeed? I am trying new avenues.

Don’t be so hard on yourself.

Will try. This can be a tough one!

Thank you!

• This reply was modified 10 years, 7 months ago by Turtletiger.