Hi Rebeccca, well done for having the courage to come forward with your feelings. It takes alot to be able to speak about these things and to seek help. Congratulations on seeking professional help and also Yoga. They will all be of great help in your recovery. Meditation is another really great way to help you calm your anxiety and relax your body and mind. It will also tie nicely in your Yoga practice.

Yes, your anxiety will go away. You are already working on it which is such a positive thing as you are already on your way. Anita is right by saying that you need to find out where your anxiety is stemming from. Hopefully your psychotherapist will be able to help you with this. Another thing that you could do would be to have a Gratitude Journal. They are great for helping you focus on things that you are grateful for and help focus your thoughts onto positive ones instead of negatives that may contribute towards your anxiety. Starting the day with a positive affirmation or Gratitude Journal with help you anxious feelings ease in the morning. Visualisation Exercises could be beneficial too. Visualising vividly exactly how you want your life to be. Writing these down will help with the visualisations. You can take small manageable steps towards this every day. Also a great exercise to do would be “Allow and Release Exercise”. It consists of working through your emotions and feelings rather than burying them or fight against them. One of the reasons for anxiety is not completely working through negative emotions and burying them instead so any trigger can set them back off. Also anxiety can stem from living in the future or past and not being in the present. Again, Meditation and Yoga can greatly help with this. Try this Allow and Release Exercise whenever you feel anxious about something.

*If there is a situation that is upsetting you or making you feel anxious or sad, go to a place where you can be quiet and be alone. Spend some time thinking about the situation and noticing how it feels in your body.

*Instead of following the process you normally follow ( attaching past events and futures worries, questioning why and how and expanding the thought of fear or sadness), Stop…and put the intention in your mind not to continue with this thought process.

*Breath deeply and focus on your breathes as you breath in….and out….in…and out….

*Bring your awareness from your mind and fro your emotions to your body. How do you feel in your body at this moment? How intense does this emotion feel? Is there any tension or elevated heartbeat?

*Now observe how this emotion feels in your body fully

*Try and name the feeling/emotion you are having if you can. “this is how anxiety feels in my body”. Notice it and feel it fully. If you can’t name the emotion/feeling just state that “this is how i’m feeling now, in my body”.

*Can you notice what prompted it? i.e “I am feeling this emotion/feeling because I am afraid of being alone.” Affirm to yourself, something positive in your life or a counteraction thought. i.e I will never truly be alone, I have myself and i am comfortable with being in my own company and I have many friends and family that are there for me.

*Try not to take your attention back to your mind by attaching any stories, fears or judgements to it. Just sit in it and be. State that this is merely a fearful feeling/emotion.

*Sit with the feeling for a while longer, noticing and experiencing it fully. Feeling how it feels in your body only. After a while the feeling should start to dissapate and reduce or at least become more bearable.

*You can now take your awareness way from your body and back into the present moment.

The more you do this, the easier it will become and the quicker you will be able to move through your anxiety or negative feelings and emotions. It will eventually get to the point where you will be able to do this sub-consciously and automatically without even having to focus on it.

I hope this helped in some way

If you have any more questions, please feel free to contact me on:
Email: trucolours@hotmail.co.uk
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TruHigherVibeLiving
Insta: trucolours_on_insta

Good luck on your journey

Natalie

Hi Selizabeth. Firstly, I want to say well done for having the courage to speak out about your thoughts and feelings and seek help. It is not an easy thing to do. I also want to say well done for taking the first step and wanting to be able to appreciate yourself for who you are based on your own feelings. You are not alone when you speak of feeling this way. There are many other people with the same beliefs about themselves. I myself, had the same beliefs a few years ago. I now love and appreciate myself for who I am and am so grateful and blessed for everything I have in my Life. And most importantly, I am now able to love myself unconditionally, even with flaws that I may feel have. I am telling you this as I want you to see that it is possible to totally change your mind set and thoughts about yourself and your life.

If we base our self esteem on others, we will never truly be happy or feel that feeling of gratefulness about ourselves. This does not come from outside sources, only from within. Another thing that I want to say is that nothing that goes wrong, is because of your appearance. There are many many reasons why things can go wrong, sometimes its because of outside reasons and sometimes they just do. It is not aways our job to understand this.

Have you ever tried a Gratitude Journal? These can help you notice things that you are grateful for every day and help shift your thoughts into a more positive place. Another thing that you could do is Visualisation exercises. They consist of picturing your life the way you want it, (it helps to write these things down also so you can clearly see it in front of you). Picturing important scenarios turning out successfully and also repeating Positive affirmations to yourself daily. Also, every time you have a negative thought about yourself, replace it with a positive one. Something about yourself that makes you feel happy. If you can’t think of anything, just say the opposite of the thought that you had. You don’t have to believe it at the time and you may feel silly saying it but just remember, no one can hear you. You are just reaffirming to yourself, something positive rather than something negative. This will help you shift your negative thought patterns into positive ones. Another good exercise to do would be an “Allow and Release Exercise”. This consists of you being fully in your emotions so you are able to work through them rather than bury or fight them. I think you need to get to the core of why you are feeling this way. You will then be able to positively change your thoughts permanently about your self-esteem.

I am a Mindfulness/Life Coach. I can help you with this free of charge if it is something you would like.
You can contact me on:
Email: trucolours@hotmail.co.uk
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TruHigherVibeLiving
Instagram: trucolours_on_insta

Good luck on your journey Selizabeth

Natalie

Hi James. As I said before, Meditation is a great way to relax. Falling asleep is your bodies natural reaction to relaxing. Maybe try Meditation sitting up or at a different time of the day. There are other types of Meditation you could try also. Waking Meditation is one I really love. You are fully alert when doing this. In fact, it consists of you walking around in an awakened meditative state, with your eyes fully open.

*Plan a time of the day when you have some free time.
*Decide where you want to take a walk. Somewhere in a park, woods anywhere near nature is really nice as it has that peaceful element. But it can be anywhere you feel peaceful that you don’t need to be alert for traffic etc.
*Make the intention to let your thoughts go as soon as you start walking
*Set out for your walk alone
*Take a few deep breaths to centre yourself. Listen to your breathing, how it sounds as you breath in…and how it sounds as you breath out. Feel the rise and fall of your chest and the slight sensation of the beating of your heart. Notice how your body feels as you breathe in….and out..feel your body relaxing with every breath.
*Now take your attention away from your body and take in the colours and sounds around you. Notice how bright they are and how clear the sounds are. Sounds around you that you have not paid attention to before. Feel the breeze or the sun on your face.
*Notice that you are now viewing your walk and nature around you
*Don’t think about what you are seeing and hearing, just be in them, almost if you are part of it all.
*Now focus only and stay aware, all the time of what you can see, hear and feel. Notice how much is happening, all in the same moment.
*Your attention is only in this moment
*When you are ready or finished your walk, notice your thought processes start to return.

The more you do this, the more you will be able to appreciate what you are doing. And the easier it will become to truly be in the moment. Don’t beat yourself up if you find it hard to concentrate or you find it difficult to keep your thoughts away. Just start again if this happens, don’t force you thoughts away, just let them come and go, like clouds, passing through your mind. Keep bringing your focus back onto your breath or the sounds around you. If you find it really difficult, just congratulate yourself for trying and taking the time out to practice this. Make the intention to next time try again, for a little longer. And come back to it at a later day or time.

Meditation will greatly help you become more internal. So will sitting with your feelings and truly feeling them rather than pushing them away and burying them. Every time you feel that you can’t forgive yourself, ask yourself:
*Why you feel this way?
*Were your actions at the time for your higher good ?
*Was it in your control to change it?
*If you could do it differently how would you have done it?
*How can you change it next time?
Then think of something about yourself that you are grateful for. Something that you are proud of yourself for doing. Or something about yourself that makes you smile. Send yourself love and compassion and feel grateful that you are trying to work towards your higher good.
Do one thing every day if you can, that you love to do or that makes you feel good. It can be something as small as just reading a book or writing down your feelings for the day or even watching some comedy clips. Having the intention to be more internal and forgive yourself more is a great start. It is the first step in truly honouring yourself.

Good luck in your journey James and if you have any more questions, please feel free to contact me

Natalie

Hi Jackie, My name is Natalie. I am a a Mindfulness Coach (amongst other things). Firstly, well done for having the courage to speak about your situation and for asking for guidance. It takes a lot of courage to speak out and seek help. I do agree with you that you are giving this person mixed messages. We tend to do this when we have feelings of guilt, pity or are reluctant to put up boundaries. We are afraid that our actions will hurt another person so give them the message that we feel that they want, regardless of our own feelings and wants. However, what we don’t realise is that it is only hurting both parties more and prolonging the pain. Your actions are coming from fear which is a negative place to be and will only result in more of the same emotions.

No one wants to hurt someone that we love or care for on a deep level. But what we don’t realise is that sometimes, if we act against our emotions and feelings, our actions will only hurt them more, whilst being detrimental to ourselves and others around us. It turns into a downward spiral and leaves us feeling anxious, guilty and resentful because we are not being true to ourselves. I do believe the best thing here would be to totally step away. By going back to this person, you are only reaffirming to him that his actions and behaviour are a positive influence on your decision. The guilt and resentment that you are feeling is stemming from not listening to yourself and honouring what you feel would be best for you. You may also feel guilty because deep down in your heart you feel that you are not acting in his higher good. To let go of this situation and step back would greatly benefit both of you and your lives.

You need to be totally honest with yourself about what you want here. Sometimes it helps to write this down as it has more confirmation and helps us really acknowledge what we are feeling. Write down:
What outcome you truly want out of this situation?
Why you want it?
When you will achieve it?
What will count to you as a successful outcome?
What do you need to remember?
Who will it benefit in the long run and why?

Once you write this down. Make an intention to yourself to stick to it. Leave it up on your fridge or a place that you will see it every day. This will help you stay on track, remind you why you are doing it and reaffirm all the positive things (if followed) that the outcome will bring.

There are ways that will help you let go of your attachments to this situation and help you work through your emotions and move forward. If you would like help with that, I will be happy to help you free of charge.
Email me on trucolours@hotmail.co.uk OR
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TruHigherVibeLiving
Instagram: Trucolours_on_insta

I hope this helped in some way.

Natalie