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TrixieParticipantTo clear bad energy from the room etc.
Btw I’m Australian
TrixieParticipantAnita, I did reach out an call her but no answer . No response is a response. And yes her friends are all fit and trendy. Mean girls. I would never do this and even invited her to coffee to chat before she goes away for leave and to my face yes, that will be great. But, when I invited her no response. I feel used and embarrassed but putting myself out there and offering the hand of friendship. 🙁
TrixieParticipantThank you everyone.
I had planned that 2014 was IT no more, but, a girl I know (not super close to know my total history) has just changed jobs and is now working with my ex. I see her socially twice a week at Zumba and she is so excited about the new job I don’t want to be a downer to her but it hurts me to hear her talk about the role and her work mates. She mentions him often and has built a rapport with him. Am I jealous about the job, jealous that she sees him everyday, jealous he talks to her? Part of me wants her to stop taking but a part of me is so desperate for info on him I prompt her for answers or questions (she knows I know him but I did not go into details as it is over). why now I was letting go and now it’s like he is in my social life again but he is not there. I’m confused, jealous for her working life, but happy for her to get the job. What can I do to protect my mind and not get spun out of control again . Ps she will not be interested in him in a loving way as she as been in along term relationship with her girlfriend. Ahhhh any help/suggestions. Thanking you 🙂
TrixieTrixieParticipantMatt, that makes sense. Thank you so much.
I have been trying to come up with a “mantra” for want of a better word for when I wake at 3am and boom he’s in my head. I have tried just saying stop, cease enough but would like some more suggestions, for anyone out there, to help stop these thoughts and get back to sleep. I want to be gentle but firm with myself as like talking to my inner child to calm down e.g keep calm and carry on…
many thanks
TrixieTrixieParticipantThank you everyone for your help.
Matt as you mentioned at odds with emotions. I have just stocked myself by allowing myself to google him and look for photos and to see what he has been doing. I did not even know I was doing it in a way. What was I trying to achieve by this to see he has a life without me and that I was never in it?
I feel so down now worse for looking but I just could not stop myself, does anyone understand why I would do this? I had in my mind sorted to stop looking, searching and boom back at it again! I feel so rejected,broken & unglued again. I was totally in love with him and still am I guess. I iwsn I had an off switch.
What was I searching for? Any ideas?
TrixieTrixieParticipantThank you
TrixieParticipantAnony, I totally get what you are trying to achieve as I’m the same. You love someone who has rejected you the pining and thinking do them leads to distraction. I have been in this vortex for two years, unfriended, blocked, nc the lot. Then a text here and there, then totally ignored via text or email. I want him to contact me and want me back but I know he has moved on. If you text her what do you want to do from there . Hi, how are you, I miss you. Then what.? If she ignores you, you will beat yourself up for being so needy,and if she answers you will feel good for a moment but like a drug it wears off then you get on a downer again. I’m not judging you as I do the same thing and wish that by being nice with Xmas cards or text that he will see the error in his ways, but are we just in denial ? I hope she comes back to you and you are happy but the % is very low. On the other hand text away and see what happens, so put yourself out of the misery of wishing & hoping. It may give you all the answers, what have you got to lose, she seems to have gone. 🙁
TrixieParticipantHello, yes I have been on this site writing about my ex. We have been exchanging text for about a week ( only if I text first ) and today I sent an email letting him know about an event that is on in the local area, and said I’m free & could tag along if he wanted . Not pushy . Now I have not answer to email or text and feel just full confusion . This event is only on for this week only I also closed that anyway , just wanted to let him know its on. Have I totally blown it but suggesting I could come ? I was so unsure if to send it but it really is a one off that he would like & i thought on it for two days before sending. What have I done , I thought I was being kind but did he see it as needy? It was not my intention to trap him but would be a bonus if he said yes. Why ignore me be a man and just say no thanks ! Trixie
TrixieParticipantMatt, thank you for all your words on this site. They are so helpful on so many levels ! X Trixie-Belle
TrixieParticipantThank for the honest answers. Your all correct I’m not over him and still attached emotionally and hoping he will see the error and come back to me. Silly I guess! I have to see him next week at work and feel caught in the vortex of him again. It is very hard when you love someone so much it hurts. Broken hearted! I am working on attachment and why he was my source of happiness and now I feel so lonely and rejected. Attachment and acceptance is the hardest lesson to learn.
I wish I could wipe my mind and wish I never met him in some ways. Is he the awakening to my life ? I find it hard to be happy without him. Crazy I guess.
Thanking so much for reading. ps I am mediating on acceptance and attachment and sending Lovingkindness to him .
Love
Trixie-BelleTrixieParticipantMatt, I agree with Angie how do you let go of the thoughts of the attachment to someone or things you have lost or never found etc? How did you not get attached to these emotions and not let things bother you and trying so hard to be happy that you are just exhausted?
I’ve become the saddest happy person ever !
Trixie-BelleTrixieParticipantThank you for your time to answer my questions ! I will take on board what has been suggested in small ways, bit by bit , step by step as I feel when I am able to chip away at my sadness . What can I accept at the moment ? I not sure, guess I am accepting his decision to reject me and I haven’t contacted him in anyway. As much as this breaks me I’m resisting every moment by moment is a struggle but I haven’t given into temptation to text yet., but look at my phone all day hoping he will make contact. Going a bit crazy my mind is a blender!
Kind regards
Trixie-Belle -
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