Hey Seth,

Each situation is entirely different – but as someone who is of a similar age to you in the very similar situation of living at home while studying and too having a father that is often more like an alien to me – I thought I might share with you some personal insights of mine about tricky relationships in general that I’ve found work when applied to even people as close in proximity to you as your Dad.

Take the emotion out of the interaction if interaction is decidedly negative!

When my father is being unreasonable, it’s so easy to feel a massive internal pool of disdain towards all he is saying and profess that through words I may come to regret… The reality is that if a situation to you is frustrating, the most likely answer is that while objectively it may still be unreasonable or irritating – for whatever reason, moral or deep-seated issue, somewhere in your father’s mind is the idea that that is a perfectly fine way to act at that particular time and place… What conflict comes to you as a result of your father is probably the intrinsic human instinct kicking in that is constantly trying to decipher and understand situations – particularly those that are of a communicative nature. So stop trying Seth!

Run through some questions mentally the next time your dad is making you especially frustrated…
Do I understand where he is coming from?
If the answer is yes appreciate your instinct to stand ground but back off and let it go…
If the answer is no… try to understand where he is coming from, verbally if needs be, then if it still won’t budge and trying to make it do so will only further worsen the issue…
You and your father are separate humans and so have separate minds, it’s frustrating having such a differently wired mind to the man who was one of two parts in making you but it’s not the end of the world.
Let. It. Go.

You don’t understand what he’s on about. You don’t understand why he thinks its okay to act that way. Soo.. he does not deserve the privilege of evoking your emotions at that particular time. Accept your confusion and emotionally DETACH from that situation.
“Ok then Dad.”
Using slight passive aggression and actively making the effort to mentally release yourself from that negative emotional labyrinth and directing your focus elsewhere is SO LIBERATING.

The reality is that you may never understand your dad or why he does the things he does, but breaking the negatively charged bond between his bad qualities and your emotions now will improve whatever relationship you may have now and long-term.
From resisting to need to critique and be emotionally affected by him will allow you to take a step back and maybe even see some good qualities that were hard to see under the bad, before.