Of course not. You are learning like the rest of us. Forgive yourself first for making a mistake. When you didn’t go after her when you met her at first it was your spirit holding you back. I felt deep inside you knew she wasn’t the right one for you. Yet you went against you own gut feeling, and said you were shy. Whenever you were talking to her things seem okay, yet you couldn’t shake the feelings that something was just not right. Every interaction is a learning experience.

First, this person seems very hurt lost and has a host of issues. Somewhere inside of you, you feel you are responsible. Everyone is totally responsible for their own happiness. That is what I got from this, it was to show you that no matter what you did it wasn’t enough or right or this or that. You can add to someone’s joy but if they aren’t happy with themselves how can they be happy with you. So my question to you is where in your life before your first girlfriend did anyone make you feel you weren’t enough? They made you feel you just can’t do anything right, etc. Whoever or whatever the issue don’t deny the pain feel it all breath if you feel angry get to the hurt and disappointment, feel it identify it, be honest about your feeling and let it go. Feel the pain, cry, write about it journal. Give yourself time and space to let go of other people’s expectations of you. You cannot please everyone, yet you picked up her issues and made them yours. So if you are feeling, horrible, guilty, admit it, feel the pain. You can cry anywhere you are safe to release the guilt and labels she gave you. Take the time you need to let it go.

Remember she was hurt and it’s really about her pain that she has to deal with, that she doesn’t know how yet. It’s a journey that she will have to take to clear her hurt.

The next time you are interested in someone and are hesitant, take your time. See how they get along with everyone. Also find out what there expectations are in a relationship. Also your parent’s experiences are yours, you will have your own experiences that are unique to you.