I just love her so damn much and i miss her every single day. And the thought of her makes my heart just stop. I hate being heartbroken. Ive dont a lot of hard things in my life like deployments but nothing compares to this. I just hope things for me will work out somehow. And i dont wana feel like this anymore.

Thankyou for your replies, I do realise no contact is the best way to go about my situation. The only thing that makes me hesitant is she may drift even further away. The problem is i have never had a connection with anyone in this world like i did with her. We got along so well every single day we talked, we could do anything together. She was my best friend my only true friend. Its hard for me to go no contact in the fear i will loose our connection forever. The relationship is over, i know this and im slowly accepting that. But damn it hurts, she said she is only dating this guy because she misses me and feels lonely and likes someone to do things with. But why wouldnt she be able to do that with friends? So i feel she is just telling me this to make me feel better. Im having trouble letting go of her. I dream about her and i cant her out of my head. I will be moving back to her city in 2 years time but i dont wana spend the next 2 years basing everything on that and its not even guarenteed she will try again or be single. It is time to move on but damn its hard to. Im getting all those toxic thoughts lately about my worth and love and everything. Thinking i will never find anyone like her again and i fdel like i lost my soul mate. I cant stop thinking about what shes doing with him and where she is. I need to stop but its damn hard. I just want to be happy again. And i want her to be happy, i hope she is. I just always thought i would be the one to make her happy 🙁 . It also hurt me alot that she find another partner within a couple of months after we split. My healing is slow, it feels like ill be sad and lonely forever. I hate my own company right now. I dont want my weekends and i cant look at myself in the mirror. Im still in love with her.