Wow, Thank you all very much. I love the vibe of this site, both supportive and positive, but also very thoughtful and reflective opinions!So many great insights. I’m sorry if I don’t reference who said what, as there’s been so many posts already.

First of all I agree with those of you that say you need to take account of yourself, love and respect yourself first, and everything else will follow. I am actively seeking out ways of reclaiming who I was, I’ve reached out to the mental health team at my Health provider, am also considering medication but not committed to it yet. I will definitely check out this website Tracey and am open to any alternative therapies.

That savior complex is interesting and definitely at play. I always wanted to be in a relationship with a woman who is independent, confident, and self-aware. And I would only jump in during real emergency’s. And yet I can’t help but have this image of my gf as a child, that has very few self-defenses, is very young, is kind of a push over, and needs constant supervision to stay safe. So my alarm is constantly going off with her. She is also from out of town, with no family here, and very few if any friends she can hang with on her own. Co-dependency also definitely at play.

Much work to do, and yet this has to be the year to resolve and find lasting peace, or move on. Believe me there is a much better version of me that was once so calm, happy, self-assured, comfortable, he’s the guy who should be living this life. He’s the one who can provide and be an asset to those around him. Right now I feel lonely, isolated, and unloved because of the hell i helped build for myself. So again I thank you all for the words of encouragement. I will post periodically to update and would love the support as I said this year is the year in which the sun will shine through and peace of mind will reign, one way or the other.