Trying to be more humble helps when seeking to understand love.

I also must stress that my sister is not married to our brother 🙂

Really depends how people age. If one partner still wants to live an active life and the other one is suffering from arthritis and wants to stay warm, it can be difficult. The difference in development is pretty much the only problem with age in general. Then again, if truly in love and there is a deep connection, would any of it matter that much?

Do you mean that 7 years would make things more difficult after both are past child rearing years? I don’t know what you mean, so I can’t agree 🙂

P.S. My sister is 7 years younger than her husband. She’s 48 and he’s 55. Looking at them, I can’t quite see it as a problem in the future either.

Rahel,

Like Matt said, what you are going through is normal and expected.

Think of it this way: when you were young, you were in an accident and something got damaged, but never fully attended to and healed. Now you are going through rehabilitation. If it was a leg, and you had difficulty walking, would you stop going to the physical therapy after couple of times because the leg wasn’t healing fast enough for you? Would you rather continue limping?

Your belief of being a failure is not based on reality.

Showing love and compassion towards her heart might be more effective than trying to influence her mind. The mind is influenced with words, whereas the heart is healed with presence and warmth.

I saw this just before going to bed last night and pretty much fell asleep imagining what others would look like 🙂 I am really bad at that. I don’t get any kind of strong visions of what someone might look like, and if I do, it’s usually wrong 🙂 I do usually imagine something, but it’s all very vague.

With Inky’s previous name, I imagined her as this cool blonde, of German descent. Curls (but not naturally curly). Now I see her as this rather tall woman, slender constitution. Dark strawberry blonde, the sort of hair that you can’t quite say if she’s a redhead, blonde or a light brunette. Wavy hair, or even a bit curly. A tough, survivalist type. I guess “survivalist” can mean those people who are actively waiting for doomsday, and I don’t mean that in this case 🙂 I don’t know if and when she lets her guard down, but when that happens, I have a feeling that underneath there would be a very delicate and ethereal being; fragile, but still never weak.

Jasmine, to me, is like this compact force of nature 🙂 Like a giggling whirlwind that comes in, does her magic and then goes again somewhere else, where it’s interesting. Dark, straight hair. I also have this certain image that is Asia-Pacific type, but when I focus on the Aussie aspect, it kind of puts everything in different perspective and perhaps even makes more sense to me 🙂 I have experienced Aussies as very direct, but in a different way from us Finns. We’re rather reserved and shy, whereas they are more dynamic, and so even though I appreciate the directness, I am sometimes left slightly shocked and confused by it 🙂 So, dynamic, tropical, playful storm 🙂

I still see Big Blue as a young man in his early thirties, even though I’ve understood from his posts that this could not be possible 🙂 A gentle, shy giant, probably unaware of the potential for having a really commanding presence. It is adorable and perplexes me in the same time. It’s like with those really big, calm dogs that don’t understand that they are so powerful, and they just look at the really small, yapping dogs with both interest and slight fear, seeing them as more powerful than themselves. In reality it’s kind of the other way around. The yapping dogs and people yap because they are scared and they are also probably scared of the gentle giant. So it’s safer to keep the giant believing that he’s not that strong. I can understand that. If Big Blue were to really harness all the power that he has, women would be in trouble 🙂 They would no longer be able to control him, and that is both scary and exciting.

Matt I see as someone in his forties, dark, short hair. Regular height, regular weight. I can’t really imagine anything else, because I see him as so balanced 🙂 Likes good food, but not too much. Exercises, but not too much. When there is a nice flow, it’s hard to grab onto any particular thing. I think the friction happens when the natural warm flow meets the rest of the world 🙂 It’s like he would’ve spent three years in the Himalayas and has come back to the chaotic “real world”. There is both frustration and awe on both sides: we want to have that calm and serenity as well, but are still stuck in the chaos. Matt knows how to access the calm and serenity, and sees the potential and beauty in everything, but isn’t always understood by others who are still stuck in the chaos. He also communicates from his heart, which is healing for those who can accept it and confusing for those who can not.

As for me…wild hair, yes, though I don’t allow it to be like that 🙂 Big eyes, yes, but brown. I like to move swiftly and quietly if possible, and I do like graceful behaviour, but a lot of the time I have the grace (and eating habits) of a hobbit (despite being rather tall). I absolutely do not see myself as enlightened nor can I directly help anyone achieve such a state. I’m not even sure if enlightenment would be my goal. If the world would be a sinking ship and enlightenment would be the salvation, I think I’d be someone who deliberately stays in the lower decks after finding out where some of the exits signs are. So when others are in chaos and don’t know where to go, I can show one or two ways to get them going, or even slap a few faces of people who are too confused to function or are going in circles and don’t even realise it. There are other people on higher levels who can help others on different ways and to possibly reach salvation in the end. I might be going down with the ship in this reincarnation, even though I keep vowing that I’m never coming back again 🙂

“Floating in space alone” is exactly what it feels like when releasing yourself from entanglement. At least that’s what it felt like to me 🙂 You’ll have to give yourself time to find your own gravity so that you’re not going to keep orbiting around others, your emotions tied to the ebb and flow of particular relationships. First you just need to let go. Even momentarily so that you get the time to build yourself.

Good job, Rahel, and thanks Jasmine for the valuable resources.

Judging by what you’ve told us, you’re not bipolar. A person with bipolar disorder goes through cycles of depression and mania. During the manic phase the person’s mood is very elevated and hyper and they do things like leave their job and spend all their money to buy a new car, etc.

No need to overthink everything. Just allow things to progress gradually as you do these small things for yourself and others.