Hi David
What can you do in such situation that allows you to protect yourself physically/emotionally and be sure enough that you can still do your part as an affectionate grandchild? That is a tough one.
What can we do when we feel that we are in a dilemma between many different priorities?
I find that it is necessary to see it in many ways than just compassion. Be grateful that you grow up well away from alchoholism. Be grateful about what you have become. Gratitude is one of the most powerful presence you can have.
I do not know the full details of what you are going through. But I always practice my personal boundary beyond what I can actually do and what is beyond what I can possibly influence.
Compassion is also about letting go and focus on kindness. Continue to share and talk about it. Let it go. Get it out of your system. Writing about it is a good start.
Rgds
Jo Lynn