I understand about being beat up.  I have basically given up on thinking life can ever be “better” ..  I get up every day and hate my life and efforts to “change” it have not worked.   I did not even get out of bed for three months, have not had a job or income for over a year.  I am sick of looking for and applying to jobs because no one will hire me  and when I have had “jobs” in the past, I get fired for having mental health challenges.   LOL.  Whatever. 
Sometimes focusing on a hobby or volunteering and “doing” can help.