Hi Anita,

what you have said is valid, however it is based on what I have chosen to include in my post. And that’s the negative side of asking for suggestions on a forum, their is no opportunity for further exploration with the OP, in this case me, the way you can in counselling.

I do know my sister has many insecurities which prevent her from leaving. A big one is fear of being alone. And of leaving someone who threatens suicide if she does. I know these things because my sister has told me.

There are multiple layers to this story and I focused on only one aspect. But thanks for your input.

Hey Mark,

Thank-you for replying. Yes I did try to call her. She would only reply via text or messenger. That’s when we began having this…’argument’…over messenger which I refused to engage with. I tried to call her again and when she did not answer, I text and left a message saying Id like to talk. That’s when she said she had nothing to say to me.

Communication – yes what I said was what I felt was true. It was clearly not useful and not particularly kind however. I said it because I was angry, and under that anger I was grieving.

I know the answer is to let some time pass, but its hard.

Hi Tara and thanks for replying. I also liked what you have to say.
I know (and clearly you do to) that women in this day and age are often tossing up careers versus kids. My personal observation is you women like us (I’m guessing you live in a western first world country) either have the maternal instinct or you don’t. If you do, look out – it’s gonna take over your life.
Maybe it’s just not what you really want…maybe you feel like you do because your friends are all having baby’s, or maybe its a matter of being doubtful about the lifestyle that goes with an army wife?? (If its any consolation, a close girlfriend of mines husband is in the Airforce, they move around heaps, yet she has two under two, and yep, is pregnant again).
To ‘thicken’ my story a little, to you and Matt, and anyone who cares to read it or reply, I am already a mother. I have a 15 year old son who lives with us full time. Being a mother has been my biggest achievement in life. He is awesome. Yes, I know, lucky me.
I grew up in very impoverished circumstances. Got with his Dad at 16, pregnant at 19, he left me at that stage. It was very very hard. I put myself through University. It took me additional years to do it, but I got there eventually. I got a paying job after, and eventually could afford to buy a little house for son and I. A lot went on in between, but that’s the short story. I eventually meet the man of my dreams and I marry him. We met on a dating site.

What am I trying to demonstrate here?? I have learnt that you get NOTHING and NOWHERE without hard work and perseverance.

I haven’t had some great life travelling overseas and having fabulous career and then get all pissed because I cant get pregnant in my 30’s. I worked my butt off to provide a decent and respectful life for my son and I. My husband is like a gift, as much as my son, and it pains me that my husband cannot have children of his own, with me. Please don’t anyone comment about being a stepdad / role model to my son – it isn’t the same. We have a great family life yes, but I only have to put myself in my husbands shoes about not being able to parent.
So anyways, here’s tough little me, back battling lol. Please don’t get me wrong, I am very grateful for all that I have. But maybe you, dear reader, now understand how my self esteem and confidence is feeling a little bit beaten. Coz deep down I’m still that pathetic little kid and I feel ashamed of my unemployed situation and I feel very unworthy at job interviews.

Ps I will look up ‘The Secret’ Tara. Thank-you 🙂