Sofia,

I understand how you feel. For the first 22 years of my life, I never met a single guy I felt I really connected with. Meanwhile, my friends started dating, while I remained single. And single. And single. I felt like there must be something wrong with me– how have I met so many people and not met a single guy I really care to get to know? All of my friends had had multiple boyfriends at that point, which made me feel really fucked, although that’s not to say that all of my friends’ relationships were healthy. At the time, though, I thought I would rather have that pain than the loneliness I felt.

And then I met somebody. On Bumble. Not even really on purpose. We just texted and it went from there. And let me tell you, Sofia, this guy was worth waiting 22 years. He was absolutely amazing. He broke my heart three weeks ago after two years together and now I worry that it will take me another 22 years to find that kind of connection. But honestly? That shit was worth it. He set my standards high. And if it takes another 22 years for someone to match those standards, then that’s the way it is. But I’ll tell you this: focus on your work, school, anything but wanting to have that connection. The second you become fully immersed in your passion, someone will come along, tap you on the shoulder, and being with them will be like sitting near a warm fire on a cold night, or seeing rays of sunshine breaking through storm clouds. Wait for that person. They’re worth it. You’re worth it. I know it seems like you may be alone forever, but just keep your head down, be kind, and focus on your passion/career/school etc. Love comes when you stop looking for it. Become the best you possible, and you will find the right person along the way. I promise.