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Marc

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  • June 20, 2014 at 1:11 pm #59269
    Marc
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    If your significant other is uncomfortable with introducing you to ‘friends’ of his, that ought to be very disconcerting to you, whether they are platonic or romantic exes. It would be for me.

    Without meeting this person that he values, this will always bother you. I would recommend that you assess your boundaries, and be brave enough to let know him what they are without ultimatums, and be brave enough to walk away with dignity. Don’t fall into the emotional trap of becoming a private investigator within your own relationship. Your dignity has value, if he has value, he will recognize yours.

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Marc.
    • This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Marc.
    June 20, 2014 at 1:02 pm #59267
    Marc
    Participant

    I tend to have a hard and fast rule for myself about dating people that are married: don’t.

    Separated is married, still, we are all better off accepting this. The longer the marriage, the longer it takes the heart to properly grieve the loss of the marriage, the heart stays married long after the decree, it doesn’t matter which party filed. To ignore this is to invite emotional disaster.

    The best thing to do, Jan, would be to respect his confusion and pain of loss and back off and let him heal naturally. If he should reconnect with you in time, you will be stronger for it, and he will be more ready to handle a new, healthy, relationship.

    The 30 day no contact does work if you use the time to truly move on and become a better you, but not if you use it as a ploy to get them back. It’s a paradox. You may find that you have moved on before they come back, that is a good thing. Stay strong. You seem to have a heart of gold.

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