Hello Everyone,

Back with an update. Firstly , I want to say thank you both for your feedback.

Now for the update. It’s been about a week since I saw him last which was also the morning after we had had sex. Since then, he hasn’t been acting the same. Before that happened, I would hear from him at least twice a week via phone and he would occasionally check in via text. Now I have to admit, I did go back a look at our text history and realized it was a mixture of me having to text him first but there were also days he initiated it. Well this week, I decided I was not going to reach out first which I think also contributed to the lapse in communication.

The first time he communicated was Wednesday when he said he would call. I was out so told him he has until a certain time and if not we would talk the following day (Thursday). Well Thursday came and of course I did not hear from him. Friday comes and I send an “are you alive” text to break the ice. He proceeded to tell me he’s had a busy week and also got into an accident (he’s fine, a little fender bender), he would tell me more information later. I told him to call whenever he had time, of course he did not (which is pretty uncommon for him so now that this is the second time in a week, I’m annoyed but also noticing a pattern). Saturday comes, he text me again asking if I want to get coffee Monday (today). I respond sure and let him know that if he wants to do it closer to his house, I would need to do it earlier in the day. He doesn’t respond to that text Saturday night, Sunday nothing.

So today rolls around, I text him early to confirm what time and where we are going. After having to double text and hours later, he finally says can we do something around 7 but then sends another message saying, if I could do tomorrow morning for breakfast it would be better. By this time, I am livid. I call him and tell him it’s inconsiderate that he takes forever to confirm plans, also, the fact that he wants to cancel and how I feel he doesn’t consider other peoples time, he’s been acting super weird all week, etc. He said now he felt bad and I’m right, and how we could still meet up if I wanted. He also goes on to tell me that he hasn’t slept in 2 days (he works overnight shifts and has had a history sleeping problems that I knew about since first meeting him a month ago lol ) and he genuinely thinks he will be too tired after finishing errands (today is one of his off days) and that is why he wanted to cancel but again, he was willing to meet up. I told him it is fine and we did not have to meet. I also told him I don’t like flaky people, friend or not.

I know this man is not for me. I honestly wanted to keep him as a friend even after everything but I’m not entirely sure why. I think it was just nice to have someone to do random things with and spend time with. But now I just feel more frustrated than anything. I really don’t know if he’s acting weird because of the sex (let me reiterate that I’m the one that initiated it) but it’s just weird timing if you ask me. I thought about just sending him a text telling him it’s been nice getting to know him but I don’t want to continue this friendship, but I thought about it and don’t think he’s even worth that. He definitely could tell I was getting frustrated on the phone, he tried to make random conversation and when he can tell I didn’t want to talk he ended it by saying I’ll let you go back to work now. I didn’t even want him to know he has that much power over my feelings but I also couldn’t hide it in my tone. I guess I also just don’t know why I care so much when he hasn’t been the nicest and I know we are not a good match. Emotions are one hell of a thing I’ll say. Maybe it’s disappointment, or maybe its pure ego. I don’t really know.

Hi Anita,

I agree that you should trust people over time, but I also don’t think it’s his fault that I don’t necessarily trust people. I actually did date a guy here in miami that ended up having a child and a weird situationship/girlfriend and was complete blindsided so I think that causes me to always think the worst, especially in this case where  that person is so far away.

I never asked him much about that relationship however he is a flight attendant on an airline that only services Europe which they both lived in so I’m sure it was much easier to see her than it would be to see me here in the states. Also, when I asked about why he would want to date someone so far, he always just mentioned that distance didn’t bother him because if we both haven’t met  people in our local cities that we were able to be serious with, why should the distance matter. I didn’t find it that crazy because I have know people who have met their spouse or SO online and ended up together in the same city and with a future so I guess I didn’t find it that weird. But I also said we would need to meet first before I ever considered that and he agreed. We hadn’t set a date or anything but we did talk about me a few times.