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August 31, 2018 at 9:45 am #223881
Tara5000ParticipantJean sweetie, you deserve better and you know it. That’s the good part. The pain is the bad part. I suggest No Contact. I should have broken up with my ex-boyfriend May of last year. But I didn’t want to be alone, had invested so much time and money and loved him. By this past January his behavior was worse. He was critical of me, my children and wanted everything his way. So I grew a set and broke it off. A week later I got back with him and he promised to be less negative and selfish. It got worse, he started being outright mean. I broke it off. I did what I could do to improve the relationship and he didn’t want to do his part, but still wanted money and sex from me. I was crushed, but did No Contact and i’m now free from his insanity. After two months I see how much he used me. I do wish it had worked out, but it was never going to. Be strong sister. Trust that it will get better. Feel the pain then let it go. Hugs
July 12, 2018 at 6:36 pm #216467Tara5000ParticipantDear S,
How are you feeling?
I hope you’re doing well.
Healing takes time. Be kind to yourself.
Namaste
Tara
July 10, 2018 at 6:13 pm #216209Tara5000ParticipantOK, not sure this will help, but it’s a good way to grow compassion and love for yourself. Then you can make decisions with love towards you instead of just others.
So, in your mind create an image of yourself as a small child, about 6 years old. Think about how that child felt at that time – sweet, innocent, loving, sometimes shy, afraid, etc. If this child wasn’t you, what would you want for this child? Would you protect her from what she fears? Would you encourage her to have fun – help her make a sand castle on the beach?
Ponder this, and when you ask yourself what you want from this relationship think of what you want for that little girl. She deserves only the best. What would you choose for her? Because she is still you.
T
<3
July 8, 2018 at 8:12 pm #215923Tara5000ParticipantHi RedDress,
What is your age range? Are you in high school, college, other?
it’s possible you’re letting people pick you to be their friend. Try to pick someone who’s behavior you respect and then be friendly. Good people treat you well and unless you’re a real jerk they will appreciate you for the good person you are.
It’s smart to look for lifetime friends. You can build those relationships and have something in your life worth more than money can buy.
Love yourself and be friendly. The right people will be drawn to you. Don’t give up. You’ll find your peeps!
T
July 8, 2018 at 8:01 pm #215921Tara5000ParticipantListen to your gut! It knows! ; )
Mine always did, but I usually ignored it especially when it came to my boyfriends or my husband. Looking back, my gut was never wrong.
Prayers going your way!! Let us know how it goes.
Namaste
Tara
July 8, 2018 at 12:38 pm #215901Tara5000ParticipantHi Sapnap3,
i wouldn’t take his behavior personally. His feelings have nothing to do with you or your actions. If he didn’t realize what an awesome catch you are and is still waffling about his commitment to you I don’t think this will change.
You deserve to be loved and cherished just for being you and for giving your love to him. If you want marriage and he doesn’t then you should walk away. You don’t want the same thing, the struggle will just continue on and your relationship will go nowhere.
I suggest you see a therapist and take their advice about your situation. They will advocate for you and they will have an outside perspective on your relationship, which you need.
It’s sad when we love someone who doesn’t truly love us back. Hoping they will change won’t work. Accept your reality and make a new life for yourself and only invite in people who cherish and respect you. I don’t suggest you live with your Mom. Love her from afar.
You are worth a commitment and you will find someone that will give you this. Your boyfriend can’t see this and probably never will. Let him go. Your destiny awaits you. Have faith in your higher power.
Going around in circles will only waste your time while your true love walks right past.
Hugs, T
July 8, 2018 at 11:25 am #215899Tara5000ParticipantThank you Anita!
I am in therapy now and she’ll help me with this.
I am also working on detachment and it’s really freeing me from the thought that I need to do everything for everyone. It’s helping my children mature, my employees grow and me to have more time for myself.
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