Be there for him has a friend, but don’t let him rely on you. This guilt is normal and will linger for a while but do not give into it, if you go back to him, the same thing will happen again. He is only hurt because he had control and never though he would lose that control, he needs to learn his lesson so he wouldn’t do this to the next innocent girl. If you remove yourself from any toxicity to a positive environment then you are doing the right thing and should never feel guilty about that. Remember this is about your feelings and your happiness, not his. You’ve been under someones shadow for so long, it’s time to find yourself and love yourself and be your own person. I wish you the best, you deserve happiness, so go get it girl and don’t look back. If you have anything to ask, I’ll be more than happy to help. <3

Hi Ian,

It seems to me you were filling in the void your ex left and now that void is empty again you are feeling worse than ever. You replaced those feelings with the new girl but only made you feel 10 times worse. The right thing to do is take time to yourself, learn to love yourself, try new things, surround yourself with positivity and within time, when you have a lot of self love, that void will be filled on its own. You moved on in an unhealthy way, when you have healed and you are strong as a person, without needing anyone to keep you happy, that is when you will be able to find the right one.

What were the things you lied about?

My ex partner hurt me a lot, he would go clubbing all the time and not make time for me, he made excuses for everything, he was very out going and would make me feel left out, when we argued he never understood how I felt and would always make stupid excuses instead of listening and understanding. We broke up for a different reason but I forgive him for all those things because he was young, he was still growing and learning, I wasn’t helping either, I was being too naggy and would question everything. But the space apart made us grow as two different people, we are now friends who respect each other, he wants another chance and I would give him another chance if things were different but I’m deep into another relationship and time has went on too much.

Now in terms of my new partner, I am happy and love him but he has also made me feel hurt. He gets angry sometimes and when he does it’s really bad, he becomes cold toward me, he doesn’t want to be near me, he talks very bluntly too. This is something he needs to work on but other than that, he is my best friend, he is the man who knows me inside out, who cares for me deeply, who has made me feel special like no one ever has. No one ever has a picture perfect relationship, we all get put through tests and have to overcome hard obstacles. You know its real when you overcome those obstacles, I understand if you have tried so hard and theres no other way other than to walk away, but you don’t know unless you try. Never make permanent decisions on temporary feelings, because you will regret not giving that one last chance later on.

Hi sorry, my bad. And trust me, I have been through that and I can tell you she loves you but is just hurt, within time she will forgive you slowly. And no worries.

Hi Elijah,

I have gone through a similar situation. I think you should tell her how you feel but also give her space as you don’t want to push her away further. You could maybe write her a letter to tell her how you feel, which is also a sweet gesture. You seeking professional help is a good call, I think you should continue that to improve your anger and emotions, especially when you are in an argument. In time, if you remain calm and care for her from a distance, I’m sure she will forgive you in time. After you think she is ready to talk, consider couple therapy and ask her if she’d like to do that with you.

I hope it goes well for you.