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alyssaParticipantThank you. Itās just so ridiculous how Iām saying āwe cannot move from this place of uncertainty without a proper conversationā we both had faults, he blames it all on me.
alyssaParticipantI donāt know his motivation, when I asked he said none at all, just wanted to say I hope youāre doing well. I donāt want to be back in your life after seeing your true colors..etc etc nasty exchange of words. But also he said āI wanted to remain friends but you couldnāt give a shitā
Why and how could we have a friendship with no communication on our relationship, still anger behind both of us, and honestly I donāt want to be his friend. I donāt want that at all. I wanted to make it work, not just switch to a friendship without conversation .
alyssaParticipantI donāt know, he was never emotionally available.
isanted more, but I was unhappy in April due to his behaviors. But I have tried in May and in June to be positive, once he sent a rude song saying āreminds me of youā and I responded back āI have said Iām sorry so many times and would do anything to help you healā he then asked if we could get lunch, then blew me off how ever many times.
If Iām kind, nothing gets resolved and he thinks Iām not hurt. Which feels like Iām then cheating myself during the break up. When I broke
up with him, it was because I couldnāt breathe around him, I was just so upset and looking at everything that wasnāt ok. I understand his pain, but I leave him be Because I want him to be bappy, heās expressed how horrible I was and howmisersble I made him, but he hasnāt once seen his flaws.
alyssaParticipantI also feel like since hearing from him, my head spirals…I think about everything again and I miss what used to be.
alyssaParticipantI think I have meaningful conversations with my friends. My family tends to just talk badly about people rather than talking kindly about others, which is hard for me to deal with.
My boyfriend confided in telling me that I am always negative, and it is hard for him to stay positive and talk to me when I’m rude/negative/giving an attitude towards him, he was very emotional about this an actually cried. I understand that I am that way, it is something I’ve always struggled with and I realize that the past 4 months I have probably been more negative since we are more apart and I am under high stress trying to finish my degree while balancing out all other life stressors. I understand now that for him he is trying to be positive about our situation while I am just nagging/focusing in on negatives/not appreciating the positive. Am I doing this because I am just a negative person or is it because I really am unhappy with him? I know that is a hard thing for you to answer but I am having a hard time differentiating…?
alyssaParticipantI donāt want it to have to end based on that. I donāt want to give up. I just wish I could say what Iām needing without him freaking out, and is work on this.
alyssaParticipantIām not so sure to be honest. He may have but I was a different person 6 months-year-year 1/2 ago…for the better I might add. More afraid to open up and be vulnerable about real issues.
alyssaParticipantAnita,
i have been crying once a month since summertime. Usually about his inability to open up more when we have conversation rather than just say āIām sorry and Iām here for youā
its been tough since this January, me finishing up my degree and his demanding job schedule.
this past Sunday night I was upset because I asked to FaceTime, he said yes after his show was over, then he responded with ābabe I love you so much I canāt wait for us to be together again Iām falling asleepā and I FREAKED
I take it as if he thinks he needs to gas my head up with text messages, when all I need is a quick phone call or FaceTime! I just want to hear it, I want to engage in meaningful convos even when we are away. We barely spoke until last night he apologized for being so busy and he feels bad about it and I said Iām ok with you being busy, we just need to talk about things to find a balance.Ā And he responded with..uh ok sorry.
I just donāt understand why itās so hard for him to get. Iām second guessing everything, I put myself on medication because I think Iām the problem but Iām just not sure.
alyssaParticipantI try to get him to open up, I try to start meaningful conversations, it doesn’t really work.
I’m just sad because I don’t want to end things…but this is killing me.
alyssaParticipantjanuary 2017*
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 