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alyssa

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Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 10 total)
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  • #219121
    alyssa
    Participant

    Thank you. Itā€™s just so ridiculous how Iā€™m saying ā€œwe cannot move from this place of uncertainty without a proper conversationā€ we both had faults, he blames it all on me.

    #219093
    alyssa
    Participant

    I donā€™t know his motivation, when I asked he said none at all, just wanted to say I hope youā€™re doing well. I donā€™t want to be back in your life after seeing your true colors..etc etc nasty exchange of words. But also he said ā€œI wanted to remain friends but you couldnā€™t give a shitā€

     

    Why and how could we have a friendship with no communication on our relationship, still anger behind both of us, and honestly I donā€™t want to be his friend. I donā€™t want that at all. I wanted to make it work, not just switch to a friendship without conversation .

     

     

    #219067
    alyssa
    Participant

    I donā€™t know, he was never emotionally available.

    isanted more, but I was unhappy in April due to his behaviors. But I have tried in May and in June to be positive, once he sent a rude song saying ā€œreminds me of youā€ and I responded back ā€œI have said Iā€™m sorry so many times and would do anything to help you healā€ he then asked if we could get lunch, then blew me off how ever many times.

    If Iā€™m kind, nothing gets resolved and he thinks Iā€™m not hurt. Which feels like Iā€™m then cheating myself during the break up. When I broke

    up with him, it was because I couldnā€™t breathe around him, I was just so upset and looking at everything that wasnā€™t ok. I understand his pain, but I leave him be Because I want him to be bappy, heā€™s expressed how horrible I was and howmisersble I made him, but he hasnā€™t once seen his flaws.

     

     

    #219019
    alyssa
    Participant

    I also feel like since hearing from him, my head spirals…I think about everything again and I miss what used to be.

    #202193
    alyssa
    Participant

    I think I have meaningful conversations with my friends. My family tends to just talk badly about people rather than talking kindly about others, which is hard for me to deal with.

     

    My boyfriend confided in telling me that I am always negative, and it is hard for him to stay positive and talk to me when I’m rude/negative/giving an attitude towards him, he was very emotional about this an actually cried. I understand that I am that way, it is something I’ve always struggled with and I realize that the past 4 months I have probably been more negative since we are more apart and I am under high stress trying to finish my degree while balancing out all other life stressors. I understand now that for him he is trying to be positive about our situation while I am just nagging/focusing in on negatives/not appreciating the positive. Am I doing this because I am just a negative person or is it because I really am unhappy with him? I know that is a hard thing for you to answer but I am having a hard time differentiating…?

    #202057
    alyssa
    Participant

    I donā€™t want it to have to end based on that. I donā€™t want to give up. I just wish I could say what Iā€™m needing without him freaking out, and is work on this.

    #202047
    alyssa
    Participant

    Iā€™m not so sure to be honest. He may have but I was a different person 6 months-year-year 1/2 ago…for the better I might add. More afraid to open up and be vulnerable about real issues.

    #202041
    alyssa
    Participant

    Anita,

    i have been crying once a month since summertime. Usually about his inability to open up more when we have conversation rather than just say ā€œIā€™m sorry and Iā€™m here for youā€

    its been tough since this January, me finishing up my degree and his demanding job schedule.

    this past Sunday night I was upset because I asked to FaceTime, he said yes after his show was over, then he responded with ā€œbabe I love you so much I canā€™t wait for us to be together again Iā€™m falling asleepā€ and I FREAKED

    I take it as if he thinks he needs to gas my head up with text messages, when all I need is a quick phone call or FaceTime! I just want to hear it, I want to engage in meaningful convos even when we are away. We barely spoke until last night he apologized for being so busy and he feels bad about it and I said Iā€™m ok with you being busy, we just need to talk about things to find a balance.Ā And he responded with..uh ok sorry.

    I just donā€™t understand why itā€™s so hard for him to get. Iā€™m second guessing everything, I put myself on medication because I think Iā€™m the problem but Iā€™m just not sure.

    #201829
    alyssa
    Participant

    I try to get him to open up, I try to start meaningful conversations, it doesn’t really work.

    I’m just sad because I don’t want to end things…but this is killing me.

    #201803
    alyssa
    Participant

    january 2017*

Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 10 total)