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December 15, 2013 at 4:57 am #46779sveenaParticipant
Thank you all for your insights and kind words.
Yesterday, I think I made a mistake of contacting his brother, my bf ttold me last time to try and talk to his brother, so I did. I ask his brother, why he and his parents cannot accept me for him, what is wrong with me, if they want, i can show them that i can stay at their place, i can learn their language. his brother and i love each other so much and does he think they are being fair forcing his brother to marry someone he doesnt love or even like. Then he replied that because I cannot stay at their place, sooner or later when I have a child I will ask his brother that we move back to my country, i told him that its not fair that he just judge me without even knowing me, he just based it on other peoples experience and what their friends told them, and then he say he is sure with what he is saying. In between our conversation, I cried so much, he also told me that their life is in my hands now, because he say that if his brother decided to cancel his engagement with the girl, his mother will want to die, their family will fall apart and that there is no need for me to cry, that just for a few days, I will be back to my normal self. I feel so bad, to being judged like that, I know myself that I will not do that, to ask my bf to leave them behind, and he thinks my love for his brother is just nothing.
After few hours, I received a call from my bf, he say that his brother talked to his parents about my call and how much i cried. His parents feel threatened and called him, his father cried for the first time, saying that he is different, he is not being a good son, that they all depend on him, then after his mother talked to him, she say that there is no need for him to work abroad, just go back home and stay, she will want to die if ever he decided to cancel the engagement and marry me, he must not be selfish, he must also think of his families welfare.
Its hard for me to understand, knowing his parents have been in this situation before (arrange marriage), they must know how it felt being rob the chance to decide on your own. So why they still do that to their own children?
Its so hard, I do love him so much, we both do, what we have is something more special. I dont want him to have a problem with his family, but i also dont want to let him go.
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